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“He didn’t sound so possessed today. Not like last time. I think he might be warming up to the thought of us together.”
I couldn’t help it. I giggled, throwing my head back in a laugh.
He joined in, falling back with me on the bed when I threw myself over with odd relief.
Eventually the humor surrounding us dissipated and it left a warm, full feeling in my heart. But of course, that awful little devil in my ear whispered and whispered.
When will he leave again?
When will he abandon me?
How long will I have this happiness before he rips it away?
“When do you go back to wherever the hell you came from?” I finally asked, fingers brushing against the dusting of wiry blonde hair on his chest.
“Florida,” he prompted. “I’ve been in Florida with Yamin.”
I huffed at that.
“You know, he wouldn’t give me your number. I snuck into Dad’s phone at one point after they chatted about you and I called him back. He told me you’re better off without me. Evidently he’s been hiding you away all this time.”
He just blinked.
“What the fuck do you mean talking about me?”
He didn’t know?
“Oh, uh, I guess Dad’s been talking to him since you left. That’s what he told me, anyway.”
“You’re shitting me,” he mumbled, fingers reaching up to grip mine against his chest. “I knew they'd been talking, but nobody mentioned that Yamin has been my fucking key holder.”
I shrugged.
“He’s wrong, you know,” Ashton admitted after another minute of silence.
“Who was? Your friend or my dad?”
“Well, both, but Yamin, when he said I’m better off without you. It’s the other way around.”
“How so?” I lifted a brow that he couldn’t see because he was still staring at the ceiling.
“You’re so out of my fucking league, Freya… I’m a selfish bastard for wanting you so much, but it doesn’t stop the truth that you’d be better off without me. I’m just a distraction for what you could have in the world. You’re intelligent, sharp, not to mention beautiful. You could have any guy eating out of the palm of your hand, and you’re hanging out with a sad sack like me.”
“I need you to explain exactly how I’m better off without you,” I demanded, moving to sit on my heels so I could look down into his eyes.
He met them immediately, confusion on his face.
“You’ve got to be kidding me. You want a detailed dossier of how all of this shouldn’t be happening right now?”
“Yes.”
I wasn’t sure I was ready to hear his answer, but I needed to, none-the-less. There was warped shit going on in his head that needed straightening out.
“Sure, ok,” he said, getting aggravated now as he sat up and shoved his hand through his hair.
“Let’s start with the ol’ paltry sixteen year age gap. That seems like as good a place as any. Add to that, I’m an almost forty year old man without a home, without a career, and without a fucking clue about what he wants in his life. I’ve been floating around since the Raiders left me on my ass, and I still don’t know what the fuck I’m doing. Next, how about let’s talk about this broken body, huh? You know I still limp? Pretty sure that’s going to stick around for life. The PTSD is better, but it’s not gone by any means. I have to see a therapist to even function like a normal person, and still, some days I feel like making the number twenty-three instead of twenty-two.”
His voice caught, lips scrunching together as he tried to shove down his emotions.
