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“Goldie girl, coming home to find you is all I’ll ever need. We can order takeout in just a few minutes. We’ve got the time,” he breathes.
Recently I’ve discovered I love the quiet.
It’s the silent moments with someone else that you can find your truth in. With Lachlan, his love shines through in the quiet and in the noise. I know with him I can be myself. I have someone in my corner.
I don’t know the last time I felt like I had someone on my side like this. Not even with how amazing Fisher has been over the past decade.
“Lachlan, you’ll never know how much I appreciate you.”
“I appreciate you, Avery,” he answers while continuing to stroke my back.
I brace myself on his chest to look him in his emerald-green eyes. He’s looking at me lovingly.
I want to say it. I need to get it out.
His smile fades away and is replaced with a pensive stare out the patio sliding glass doors.
“What is it, Lachlan? Did everything go okay today?”
Chapter 23
No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.
John 15:13
I can tell what Avery is feeling at this moment; fuck, I feel it too.
Avery, my perfect Goldie girl, the dream I never would have asked for, is in love with me. I can tell she wants to say those three words to me. Right now is the perfect moment to.
Avery doesn’t know that I have one last confession to make. The most important one for her to understand who she’s fallen in love with. The confession that could easily tear us apart.
I haven’t told anyone, other than Grayson, the truth of the night that haunts me. He believes that I should never have lied to everyone about how the events of that night unfolded. That I didn’t need to bear the weight of everyone else’s actions on top of mine.
What I did that night wasn’t good, but Grayson doesn’t think I deserve to have lost people I love because of it. I never thought I could forgive myself for what happened.
The one night that changed my path forever has now brought me to Avery. Wouldn’t that make it the path I was always meant to be on?
I’ve come to terms with my truth from that night. I was just a young adult, doing what I thought was best to protect my friends.
“Avery,” I say solemnly.
She instantly sits upright at my tone.
“What is it, Lachlan?”
I take a deep breath and prepare for my final confession before we can decide to be together for the rest of our lives. If she’ll still want me after she hears this truth.
“I’ve mentioned to you that I’m not a good man, Avery. Fuck, I want to be. In the past, before I became a priest, I was reckless. Beyond reckless. I was a fucking joke, if I’m being honest with you.”
She gathers my hands in hers and places them in her lap. Avery’s now seated with her legs crossed over one another as she waits for me to continue.
“Right around the time I graduated college, I was a mess. My dad had died, and I was angry. Really fucking angry,” I start before taking a pause.
I need to try to compose myself as much as I can for Avery’s sake.
“I channeled all my time and energy into my job. I thought if I made something of myself I would feel proud, happy even. That wasn’t the fucking case. The more I climbed the corporate ladder, the more insane my life became. I fucked countless women, did every drug I could get my hands on, and drank until I blacked out daily—I was a fucking terrible human being. Everyone was worried about me and who I was turning into.”
Avery squeezes my hands showing she’s here for me. I know this must be painful for her to listen to, and I haven’t even gotten started yet.
