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“Avery, promise me. If this gets to be too much, you’ll tell me? I don’t want you to hate me.”
Avery releases one of our intertwined hands and cups the side of my face.
“Lachlan, I could never hate you. Never. Don’t be afraid to tell me. Please tell me as much as you’re willing to.”
I take her hand back into mine before she pulls them into her lap.
“You know my friend, Grayson?”
She nods.
“Well, Grayson wasn’t always my only friend. Fuck, that’s pathetic to say out loud.” I sigh before shaking my head in disgust.
“Lachlan, basically all I have are fake friends; you don’t need to be ashamed.”
I squeeze her hands this time. I hate the thought of my Goldie girl being lonely before she met me.
“We used to be part of a group of friends who all grew up together. We went our separate ways because of college, but our group was strong. We knew we could always rely on each other.”
It was the truth. Grayson, Liam, Cara, and I were best friends growing up. I wanted nothing more than to stay friends with our group, but I ruined it.
Looking back, I’m not sure if what I did was right or wrong, but fuck, she was dead goddamn it. I couldn’t tell the truth about a dead girl who was also my friend in a way.
“I love that you had that.”
“Had is the key word.”
Avery winces.
“Sorry.” I give her a half smile as I shrug a shoulder.
“It’s fine, please go on.”
“There were four of us in the group. Liam was one of my best friends. He moved to Boston after college for medical school. Cara went off to California to join this special program. And you know Grayson was recruited to be a professional hockey player.”
Avery gives me a nod as she rubs her thumbs against the outside of my hands.
“Liam was dating this girl, Jenny. They met when he moved to Boston. They’d only been dating for maybe a year or so. Liam thought she was the one. He even showed me the engagement ring he was going to give her at Christmas, her favorite holiday. It was practically half a year away, but he had the whole thing mapped out.”
I can tell Avery is bracing for it. Fuck, this is hard to get out after all this time.
“Liam didn’t have a lot of time to spend with her because he was prepping for some exams he needed to pass to keep going in school.”
“So tough to go through that, I’m sure.”
“Yeah, Liam is fucking smart as hell. I’m sure he’s made a great doctor.”
Avery flinches.
“Yeah, well. Liam and I don’t talk anymore. Or Cara, really, for that matter.”
“What happened, Lachlan?”
“Jenny also liked to do drugs. Since she was my best friend’s girl, I invited her out from time to time. Liam didn’t care about the drugs since it wasn’t a serious problem of hers, and he knew she was with me. He thought I would take care of her.”
I let go of Avery’s hands and get up from the couch. I begin pacing around her living room. Time is slowing down. I know I just need to say it. Speak the words and be done with my confession.
Avery is twisted around on the couch watching me loop around her nearby dining room table now.
