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I watch in disbelief as Lars turns to leave, his nonchalant attitude infuriating me even more. He’s leaving me to face Vaughn, the man I left at the altar, with no warning or preparation. It’s a betrayal that cuts deep, and for a moment, I almost hate Lars more than I hate Vaughn. Almost.
As the door swings shut behind Lars, I’m left alone in the room with Vaughn, the man who has haunted my thoughts and dreams for years. The weight of the situation bears down on me, and I can’t help but wonder what comes next in this surreal and unpredictable turn of events.
My heart feels like it’s caught in a storm, a turbulent tempest of emotions. Vaughn, the man I had once been willing to marry, stands before me with a face that mirrors the pain in my own heart. The beautiful Vaughn, who had once been the center of my world, now carries an expression of heartbreak that shatters me to pieces.
He doesn’t say a word as he unties the ropes that had bound me, his movements gentle and deliberate. With each strand he frees, it’s as if he’s unraveling the tangled mess of our past, exposing the raw wounds that had been hidden away.
Once I’m no longer restrained, he guides me over to the fire, a silent gesture of care that speaks volumes. He’s being unbelievably kind, and it hurts. It hurts because his kindness forces me to confront everything I could have had with him, everything I had abandoned when I fled. Maybe that was his intention, to make me face the choices I’ve made, but I doubt it. Vaughn has always been too gentle to be so cruel.
He brings me a steaming cup of tea, and I take it gratefully, allowing the warmth to seep into my trembling hands. He sits across from me, his eyes filled with a mixture of sadness and regret. He waits patiently while I drink it all, as if he knows that I need this moment to gather my thoughts.
When he sees that I’m no longer shaking with anxiety, Vaughn takes a slow, steadying breath. It’s a breath weighted with the weight of our shared history, a history I had abandoned without explanation. And then, he begins to speak.
“Okay,” he says, his voice gentle and filled with remorse. “Let me start off by saying I’m so, so sorry I skipped out on our wedding. I know you must hate me—but let me try to explain...”
My mind races as I try to process his words. Wedding? Skipped out? Hate? It’s as if the ground has shifted beneath me, and I’m struggling to find my footing in this bewildering revelation.
As Vaughn’s words hang in the air, I take another sip of the steaming tea, trying to gather my thoughts and make sense of the unexpected confession. The warmth of the tea soothes my racing heart, but it does little to ease the turmoil in my mind.
The fire crackles beside us, casting flickering shadows that dance across Vaughn’s face. His eyes, once filled with sadness and regret, now hold a glimmer of hope, as if he’s daring to believe that there might be a chance for understanding and forgiveness.
“Mahalia,” he begins, his voice soft and pleading. “I know I should have explained things sooner, but I have my reasons. I want to explain it to you…”
“Wha… what?” I don’t know how to respond, I don’t know what to say. I must be sleeping because none of this makes any sense. “You… you didn’t turn up to the wedding? I don’t get it. That doesn’t make any sense. Why did you not… I was the one… I don’t…”
The words catch in my throat as a realization dawns, a sickening knot forming in the pit of my stomach. Lars, the man who had blackmailed me with secrets from my past, had claimed that I had broken Vaughn. He had used my guilt as a weapon against me, forcing me to fuck up my own academic career all because of him.
Hatred surges through me like a wildfire, consuming every inch of my being. The revelation of Lars’s manipulation and blackmail sends a searing rage coursing through my veins. How could he have done this to me? How could he have used my past, my vulnerabilities, as a weapon to control me? I don’t understand why. It wasn’t like I left Vaughn at the altar.
The teacup trembles in my hands as I struggle to contain the rage boiling within me. How am I supposed to be anywhere near that man? How can I face him, knowing what he’s done to me? The very thought of encountering Lars again sends shivers down my spine.
And then it dawns on me—the duration of this arrangement. Lars had said a whole year. A year of being in the same vicinity as the man who had blackmailed me, a year of enduring his torment and manipulation. The prospect is unbearable, a nightmare that threatens to suffocate me.
I had thought that Professor Maddox might be the worst part of this surreal situation or even Kit with his mysterious demeanor and his typical bullying bullshit. But now, Lars has become my true enemy, the one I fear the most. I can’t fathom how I’m going to survive a year in his presence, let alone find a way to break free from his hold. If after a year, I do end up back at college, he will be the one doing my homework, that’s for sure. If I don’t murder him before then, that is…
FIVE
VAUGHN
Sitting across from Mahalia, the weight of my confession still heavy in the air, I can’t help but feel a gnawing sense of guilt and regret. I’ve wanted to apologize to her for not turning up at our wedding, to offer her some explanation for my actions, because I do have my reasons. But the words stick in my throat, and the act of saying them out loud feels like reopening an old wound.
Her eyes, filled with a mix of emotions—confusion, anger, and hurt—burn into mine. I can see the questions that linger unspoken, the pain that I’ve caused her by disappearing without a word of explanation.
Mahalia’s reaction is far from what I expected. She appears to be on the brink of withdrawing from reality completely, her words a jumbled mess of disbelief and confusion. “It makes no… I don’t get… but why and who and just…”
“Mahalia, please,” I start desperately because I really so need her to hear me, “you have to understand that I never wanted to hurt you. But I know my actions, or rather, my lack of action, caused you so much pain. Not turning up to the wedding is the worst thing I have ever done. I think about it all the time and how I must have made you feel. What this must have done to you, and the reasons behind it…” I shake my head angrily. “I feel even worse about all of that.”
She finally meets my eyes, really seeing me, thank goodness. “Vaughn, what are you talking about? What happened?”
I suck in a deep steadying breath before I continue. I’ve been planning this conversation for a very long time, but truth be told now that the moment is here, my mind is blank. “It was the night before our wedding. I received this devastating news, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. My previous marriage had never been annulled. I was legally bound to someone else.
“You… you were married before?” Mahalia looks like she can hardly breathe. “Not only that, but you’re also telling me that on the night before our wedding, you found out you were still married to someone else? Vaughn, how could you not tell me?”
I hang my head low. “I didn’t know how to face you, Mahalia. I couldn’t bear to see the pain in your eyes, to shatter the love we had. I thought that by leaving, I was sparing you even more hurt. I guess I froze up and did nothing, instead of doing the right thing.”
“Vaughn,” she finally says, her voice trembling with a mix of anger and betrayal. At least that’s how it feels to me. “You never told me you were married before. I didn’t know any of this. It’s like I didn’t know you at all. How could you keep something like that from me?”
I swallow hard, knowing that her anger is justified. “I know, Mahalia,” I reply, my voice heavy with regret. “I should have been honest with you from the beginning. But please, let me explain. Let me tell you all of this properly.”
