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I didn’t know what to do. It hurt so much. My back and ass were on fire, and I swear I saw blood.
Then he told me to dance for him. To sit on his lap and give him something worth the money because up until now I had been a waste of his time. He threatened to report me to the agency, to refuse to pay, and that scared me more than anything. Mickey would finish what he started if I came home with no money and so I did what he asked and put my heart into it. I couldn’t let the agency down and I dreaded going home to Mickey and suffering his anger.
I sit back and close the diary, a sob catching at the back of my throat.
When I read this the first time, it was bad. I remember thinking about how she must have felt. The horrors she lived through while I was unaware and going about my college life. She must have been so afraid, ashamed even, and it didn’t get any better when she came home. Mickey continued using her in a far more brutal way. Drugging her and making her perform despicable acts and death was the only way out. At least that’s what she thought.
I brush my tears away as Mikhail drops into the seat in front of me, and his concerned expression makes me cry even harder.
The diary trembles in my hands and he prizes it gently from my grip.
“It’s okay baby, grief is an important part of healing.”
“Will it ever stop hurting so much, Mikhail?”
I glance at the diary in his hands and whisper, “I wish you hadn’t stopped me shooting that bastard’s dick clean off.”
It makes him smile. “Do you really think you could? It would have ended badly for you.”
“I can shoot a gun.” I glare at him, and he shakes his head. “Think about it, Lilli. The place was packed. He was several feet away and there was a lot that could go wrong. When you seek revenge, you plan it so every obstacle is covered. There will be no room for error, no mistakes, and your target will suffer the hardest death possible.”
“I want to watch him suffer, Mikhail.” I say with a fierceness that shocks me. “Mickey got off lightly, in my opinion. Please, if I say you can keep the money you offered me, will you make him suffer instead? I can live in poverty knowing that animal is no longer able to hurt anyone else.”
Mikhail says nothing and just stares at me with a thoughtful expression, and I glance at the diary in his hand and say sadly, “That is all I have left of my sister. Those memories have replaced the happy ones we shared. The ones when our father was alive, and life was normal. I wish I hadn’t complained so much then.”
“Complained?”
He raises his eyes and I nod. “The usual whining from kids. Why did I have to go to bed before Reggie? It wasn’t fair that she got to sit in the front of the car. The usual stuff.”
I shake my head sadly. “I would give anything for those to be my problems now.”
“Your problems are unusual, Lilli and they were not because of anything you’ve done, or your sister. Your father died because he was sick. Alcoholism is a serious illness, and many don’t make it. Your mom was grieving and vulnerable and men like Mickey Gruber specialize in exploiting that. There was nothing you could do to change what happened to you.”
“I know.” I sigh heavily. “I wish it was different in so many ways.”
“We don’t get to choose how we came into this world and who our parents were. We can choose if we want to let the past affect our future or move on from that while learning from the mistakes of our parents.”
“I’m doing a great job of that so far.” I smile wryly.
“So, will you help me bring Carter Lamont to rough justice?”
He grins a delicious, wicked grin that causes his eyes to gleam, and I love how that makes me feel. If there is anyone I trust in this world to help me get my revenge on the man who sent my sister to an early grave, it’s Mikhail Romanov.
CHAPTER 45
MIKHAIL
We leave Lilli at my apartment under the close watchful eye of Katerina, and I know that Lilli is pissed about that. I have important business to attend to and she will not appreciate my methods—if it comes to that.
Marsha Steele runs a business like Burning Roses and needs to be tough. I’m not expecting to saunter on in there and she hands over the information I need with a smile and a celebratory glass of vodka.
Damien is beside me as always, and as we approach her unregistered office, I adjust my mood accordingly.
The office is set in a colonial-style house outside the city center on a smart street. The garden is well tended and there is even a rocking chair resting on the porch.
A top of the range Mercedes car stands proudly before the garage, and you would never know what secrets this house hides as you walk past pushing a pram or walking your dog.
Hidden in plain sight. That is what this house represents, and that is exactly the approach we are using now.
