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“The ones who appeared to be so much in love even after all these years.”
“Yes, but you’re assuming they were together a few years. What if they just met?”
“Good point.” She giggles. “I suppose that’s a possibility. Why is romance exclusive to the young? It could happen at any age, I suppose.”
“And break down at any age.”
She tightens her hold. “What are you thinking?”
“About my parents and wondering why they never held hands, never kissed in public, and never appeared to be happy.”
“Mikhail.” Her soft gasp makes me peer down at her and I register the concern in her eyes.
“I’m sorry. I always believed they were devoted to one another, which is why you were so shocked he was always with this woman.”
“So did I, Lilli flower. But my eyes have been opened since I met you and you have caused me to second guess everything.”
“I have?” Her eyes are wide and as we reach our destination, I have a sudden urge to be alone with her right now.
“Come. There is something I must do.”
She says nothing and as we head upstairs, I view things a little differently now. The wealth, the cold emotionless way I live and the trappings of my family’s success. I don’t hear laughter, excited chatter or see anything but clinical living. It’s as if life is left behind the door when we close it and transports me to a world where I stand center stage on my own. A callous life filled with cold, hard decisions. Nobody to talk to except my family and Damien, the rest of my staff are scared to even voice their opinion. The only person who doesn’t give two fucks about that is standing silently beside me and I grip her hand a little tighter.
Was that how my father lived his life? Much the same as I’m living mine, like my brothers and sister are living theirs.
Alone in a crowd.
Was this woman his obsession, his warmth, and his life? Was she the only one he could open up to knowing she had no seat at his family table? Did he tell her things he couldn’t tell anyone else, and did she make him feel even half of what I do for Lilli because if so, I’ve found my answer?
We head up to the huge panoramic bedroom and I gaze around at the world beneath our feet. We are removed from life up here, making decisions that affect the people below. Hard decisions, ones that involve increasing the Romanovs’ hold on their empire and I already realize I don’t want to do it without Lilli by my side.
“Mikhail.” Her soft voice brings my attention back to her, and she says softly, “You’re scaring me.”
“By thinking?” It makes me chuckle.
“I suppose. It’s just, well, you appear to have a lot on your mind, and I suppose I’m fearing the worst and thinking it has something to do with me and, well, our arrangement.”
“It does.”
Her smile falters. “I see.”
She chews on her bottom lip, and I swear appears so concerned it causes a huge protective streak to engulf me and I draw her into my arms and bury my face in the top of her hair as I inhale the sweet scent of roses that she appears to love so much.
“I am no longer holding you against your will, Lilli.”
She stiffens but says nothing and I hate every word I’m about to release out there.
“You are free to leave whenever you want. The money is already yours and I will not stop you.”
She tenses and her voice shakes as she whispers, “You want me to go.”
“I never said that.’
I pull away and stare into her beautiful eyes and say huskily, “More than anything, I want you to stay. To remain here with me, not as my captive, but as, well–”
I say with a wry smile, “As my girlfriend and future wife, but still my obsession.”
“I don’t understand.” Her eyes are wide and fearful and yet there’s a yearning in them that matches my own.
