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“It’s…” Devlin jammed his hands into his pockets. “It’s not easy to just turn off. I don’t want to be jealous, but it still hurts.”
“Well, I’m sorry about that,” I said. “I never wanted to hurt you, Devlin, but I’ve been trying so hard not to hurt you that I haven’t been living my damned life.”
He gave me a wounded look. “I never wanted that from you.”
“Yes, you did,” I muttered.
“No,” he insisted. “If you’d told me that you were attracted to Sinclair—have you always been attracted to him?”
“Oh, come on. Everything with a pulse is attracted to him.”
Devlin considered. “I mean, yeah, I guess you’re right.”
“Maybe we should send him to rehab or something,” I said.
“Like that hasn’t been done,” said Devlin.
True.
“What do you mean?” said Devlin. “He submits to you? He doesn’t submit at all.”
“Yeah, I never did it to an alpha before,” I said with a shrug. “But I don’t know what it was. I just had a sense with him that I could, and even more, that I should. That it was the right way. I pushed and he wanted it.”
Devlin’s brow furrowed. “Really? But with me…”
“Yeah, I know,” I said. “Do you want to try something?”
“What?” he said.
“Just a challenge between the two of us? To see if I still… with you?”
He looked up at me sharply. “You want to challenge me? Seriously?”
“Not like that,” I said. “It wouldn’t change anything with us.”
“It would change everything,” he said in a different voice, and I could hear his alpha in in, rising up instinctively to put mine in its place.
And my alpha submitted, easily, happily, just like always. I showed him my neck. I whined. My scent got thick. I got hard for him.
I butted my head into his chest, and he put his arms around me, clutching me to him. He lowered his lips to the nape of my neck and kissed it again and again. “Nothing’s changing with us, Rohan, not like that.”
I sighed into him. It was exactly right for him to master me. He was my alpha, even if I was Sinclair’s. I liked that, having those twin roles—sometimes in charge, sometimes submissive. It was never that I shouldn’t have submitted to him, I realized. It was only that I was missing that other part of me, that place where I was alpha in my own right. I needed both.
“Doesn’t make sense,” he whispered.
I looked up at him. “It’s hierarchy, usually, one alpha at the top, right?”
“Yeah,” he said. “And if you submit to me, and he submits to you, he should submit to me. But… he does not.”
“Maybe he will now?” I shrugged. “Maybe he needed to see it was safe to submit?”
“Maybe,” said Devlin. “Do you think so?” There was hope in his voice. Whatever it was with him and Sinclair, just like I’d always realized, it had never really resolved. Devlin had feelings for him. Did Sinclair have feelings for Devlin?
For whatever reason, I didn’t like that. I wanted to keep him for myself. I didn’t want Sinclair to submit to both of us. I decided to change the subject. “Uh, you said you had news?”
“Right,” said Devlin, brightening. “Well, anyway, um, the Queen called us in to tell us that she’s set the date for the ball where Eleri will be presented to society, and afterward, she says we can bite her.”
I raised my eyebrows. “‘We’ huh?”
