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Seeing Millie’s eyes trailing my list, I rush to say, “it’s a working list. That’s just what I came up with off the top of my head.” After the disastrous evening with Michael, I was tempted to make ‘not be a pretentious asshole’ top of my list, but I refrained. Barely.
The area in the middle, titled ‘Prospects’, only has Michael’s name listed. Next to his name—in red marker, of course—I’ve written, ‘NO’, in all caps, followed by an alarming number of exclamation points.
And finally, the area to the far right is titled ‘Dates’ and is currently blank.
Millie is still silent, so I try to explain it further. “It’s my ‘Love Board’. While it bears some resemblance to the murder boards on Law and Order, it has a completely different concept. We’re looking for the love of my life here, not who killed someone with a candlestick in the library. But we can still use some of the same organizational tactics.” My voice rings with a determination that isn’t at all dimmed by the bout of uncontrollable laughter coming from Millie. Looking back at her, I see her doubled over on the couch, clutching her stomach as her body shakes with laughter. And she says I’m the dramatic one.
I work my features into the sternest expression I can manage and glare at my best friend. Millie catches sight of my face and tries, unsuccessfully, to pull herself together. I am not amused. Okay, well maybe I’m a little bit amused. “Hardy-har-har, Millie. I’m glad you find my love life so funny.”
Finally able to sit up, Millie wipes the tears from her eyes, her face glowing with a wide smile despite my disapproving glare. Millie is unphased by my severe demeanor. “Oh, I do love you, Charley, but are you sure you’re going to need all this just to go on a few dates? And besides, I don’t think love is something you can plot and plan for. It has to happen organically. You can’t force it.”
My head snaps back and I throw my hands in the air in exasperation. “Uh, yes, I need this! Do you not remember how it went with Michael? I need a game plan to weed out all the frogs and find my prince. I already tried the waiting game. It’s not for me.” By this point, I’m pacing back and forth in front of her as my mind relives every awful second of that date. I stop and shake the morose thoughts from my mind as I turn back to Millie. “I’m not trying to force anything. I just don’t want to waste time on guys like that anymore. And we’re on a time crunch. We only have…” pulling my phone out, I double check the date and do the mental math before saying, “just over three hundred days left until my birthday.”
Properly chastised now, Millie only smiles a little as she says, “Oh, of course,” her voice is tinged with a hint of amusement. “Imminent spinsterhood. That just won’t do.” She didn’t roll her eyes, but I could tell she wanted to.
Kneeling down and grabbing her shoulders, I say, "look, I know I’m being crazy. But I want to fall in love. Is it so wrong to want to give Cupid a little nudge?”
I’m shamelessly giving her my puppy dog look and, just as I expected, she’s powerless to resist it. Her eyes soften as she nods and says, “What can I do to help?”
And that’s my best friend in a nutshell. She may think I’m absolutely crazy, but because it means a lot to me, she’s in. I might squeal a bit as I throw my arms around her and squeeze. “Thank you!”
Releasing Millie, I turn toward the love board, ready to get the rest of my life started. “Alright. Well, first things first, we are gonna need some prospects.” I pull my phone out and tap the heart icon to bring up the dating app. The number of notifications that pop up on my screen has me nearly dropping my phone in surprise. “Seventy-four notifications?” I hold it up to show Millie, her shock matching my own. Gesturing to the couch, I say, "Let's get comfy, this may take a while.”
