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Caia sat on the side of my bed with her head low and her hands in her lap. I watched her closely as the silence surrounding us got louder. We left Dad’s office after he asked us to leave, and before Caia could walk away from me, I pulled her in here.
I knew my words were hurtful, but I thought that once she heard how I felt, she would be happy. She wasn’t. She was upset, and I knew it was because of what I said about Wavel.
I knew I wasn’t an easy person to understand, but I hoped that she out of all people would be the one to comprehend how I felt.
But shit…sometimes I didn’t understand myself. Just a couple of days ago I didn’t know what my heart wanted. Twenty minutes ago, I admitted to be falling in love with Caia in front of Dad, and right now, I wanted to confess my unconditional love for her.
My mind was all over the place, but I always listened to my heart first. I couldn’t betray myself.
“Caia,” I said, keeping my voice low.
She didn’t look up, but her brows furrowed, and I knew she was listening.
“I’m sorry. I know you’re angry, and I know the things I said weren’t nice to hear, but I had to say them.” I kept my eyes on her, wishing she would look at me. “Caia, hey…”
I pushed off the desk I was leaned against and crouched down in front of her, placing my hands on her knees and caging her in, in case she wanted to run.
“Caia, look at me. Please,” I whispered, trying to find her eyes. Strands of her hair fell over her face as she turned her head, and I reached up with my right hand to tuck them behind her ear. Her eyes finally met mine.
“I understand that you’re angry. That’s fine. What I said in there was hard to hear, but it was hard for me to speak my mind. I need you to talk to me. What’s on your mind?”
She studied me closely as her eyes took in every inch of my face. She played with her fingers, and I placed my left hand on hers as an attempt to calm her. “Talk to me, baby.”
“You told him we had sex. What if they kick us out?”
I frowned. “They won’t kick us out. We’re their kids. They must accept what we have.”
“How? You saw the way Dad looked at us. He was disgusted. Mom will be too. They’ll hate us.”
I tensed, clenching my jaw and I already regretted what I said next. “Nothing new to you.”
Her face went pale, and I wanted to kick myself in the balls for saying that so damn boldly. But sadly, it was the truth. Mom and Dad never loved Caia. Not even now that Wavel was gone.
Tears stung her eyes, and she looked away again. “One more reason why they should kick me out.”
“But they won’t. I won’t allow it. The thing is, Caia, they hate themselves too. Do you think normal people without issues live so miserably? Mom and Dad are sick people. They’ve been living in this house all alone before we were born, and they rarely go out. They don’t see other people, other than Dad’s patients, but those are sick people too. They had us and made us sick too. The way we live…the way our family works, it’s not normal. It’s never been healthy, and nothing will ever change here. They won’t kick us out. They made us this way, and now they have to live with the consequences.”
Tears rolled down her cheeks. I hated that I was making her cry, but she had to learn the truth. I had been oblivious to what was really going on in this family for years, but then I started to realize things.
Her gaze lifted to mine, and I finally got to see her beautiful eyes. She looked unsure, but determination soon took over. “Do you really love me?” she asked, straightening up her back as she sobbed.
“Yes, I do. I love you, and it turns out that I’m just as obsessed with you as you are with me. I think I have been all along, otherwise I would’ve never made you play my twisted games. If I’ve never loved you, I never would’ve made you be my Wavel.”
“I’m the next best thing to her,” she whispered, dropping her gaze to her hands again. “How can I believe you? I look just like her. You still have her. She’s still here because of me somehow.”
“No, she’s not. Wavel’s dead.”
“BUT I LOOK LIKE HER!” Her words echoed in my room, and I was taken aback from the rage her voice carried. “How can you look at me and not still see her? How can you say those things to me without thinking of her?”
“Because she’s not here, Caia!” I raised my voice to make a point, but I startled us both with it. I sighed and lowered my head, needing a moment to collect my thoughts. I looked at her again when determination hit. “I can understand why you don’t believe me. It wasn’t easy for me to accept it, but I can’t change how I feel. I love you, and if you don’t believe me, I will prove it to you. I will show and tell you that I love you until you believe me.”
She looked at me with eyes full of worry. She was scared, but most of all, she felt alone. She had been by my side all these years, and lately, she had been doing everything she could to make me feel better. She was being protective and helpful, while all those years I had been disregarding her.
“I love you, Caia,” I whispered, hoping my voice was loud enough for her to hear and understand my words. “I love you, and you’re all I see when I look at you. You, Caia. I. See. You.”
A heavy sob escaped her, and I caught her as she let herself fall into my arms. We knelt on the floor, holding each other as we cried. I couldn’t hold back my emotions, and it was time for me to let go.
“You’re all I want. You’re mine, and I will remind you of that every day. I’ll love you until you get sick of me, I swear.”
