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But at least they would be different problems, so sometimes the fantasy of living another life comforts me.
Yet I’m not in another life. I’m in this one, right here. The one where I’ve made a big mistake and now I have to figure out how to fix it.
A pang of guilt washes over me, and I grab my coffee, mumbling a quick thanks to the barista.
Stepping back outside, I take a deep breath and begin to roam aimlessly along the sidewalk, sipping my bitter coffee. I need to clear my head and figure out where to go from here.
Was this fake relationship a mistake? Should I call it off and find someone else to go through with this charade?
The thought makes my stomach churn. Lily is an irreplaceable gem, one of my closest friends. It wouldn’t be fair to her, or to me.
“If I could just control my desire for her better…” I whisper, frustrated by my lack of control over the situation. I know I should focus on the future, but I can’t help replaying last night in my head, the way she looked, the way she felt.
“Hey! Watch where you’re going!” someone yells.
I jump to the side, narrowly avoiding a cyclist.
“Sorry,” I mumble, shaking my head to bring myself back to reality.
The streets are busy with people bustling about, and I force myself to concentrate on the here and now. I need to find a solution, a way to make this work without risking our friendship or caving to my desire for Lily.
I haven’t even made it two blocks when my phone is buzzing in my pocket. My heart leaps with momentary hope that it might be Lily, but the caller ID reveals otherwise — my parents.
They must have heard about our engagement.
“Hello?” I answer, attempting to sound casual despite the turmoil inside me.
“Congratulations, Felix!” my mother exclaims with excitement. “We just heard the news. We can’t wait to meet her!”
“Thank you, Mother,” I reply, trying to match her enthusiasm. “I’m sure Lily will be thrilled to meet both of you as well.”
“Your father and I insist that you bring her to Albavarre as soon as possible! We want to celebrate this wonderful news with both of you.” The way she says it, I can tell there is no room for objections.
“Of course, Mother. I’ll arrange for us to visit soon.”
A sense of relief washes over me. A trip to Albavarre could be the perfect distraction from the complexities of our situation. The change of scenery and meeting my parents might help keep our minds off last night.
“Fantastic. We can’t wait to see you both! Safe travels, my dear. Give our best to Lily.”
“Will do, Mother. Goodbye.”
I stand there for a moment, taking in the sights and sounds of the bustling street around me. The importance of what lies ahead starts to settle on my shoulders. This trip to Albavarre isn’t just an escape; it’s an opportunity for Lily and me to figure out our future together.
With renewed determination, I turn and make my way back to the car, mentally preparing myself for the conversation I need to have with her. The thought of laying everything out on the table makes me nervous, but it’s necessary. We have to find a way to navigate this together.
As I slip into the driver’s seat, I think about how beautiful and captivating she truly is. The thought of introducing her as my fiancée to my parents fills me with a strange sense of pride and fear at the same time. I know they’ll adore her, but the pressure of their expectations weighs heavily on me.
Or maybe it’s the weight of my own expectations. My expectation to keep everything PG with Lily, when all I want to do is rip her clothes off.
With a deep breath, I start the engine and pull away from the curb, leaving the coffee shop behind. The road that stretches out before me is filled with uncertainty, but one thing is clear: it won’t be boring from here on out.
CHAPTER 17
LILY
I wake up slowly, stretching languidly across the soft sheets and expecting to find Felix beside me. But the space next to me is empty, cold as if he was never there at all.
A sinking feeling forms in my stomach as I replay last night’s events in my head. His hands all over me, his lips exploring every inch of my body. Surely that meant something, right?
