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"Hello?"
"Hey." Amy's perky voice sounded tinny through the phone.
"I'm surprised you called back this late." It was only nine, but I had to be up at five and I was kind of pissed at her about the whole Molly thing. Amy knew we didn’t get along and I couldn’t help but feel she was meddling.
"It's only six..." she trailed off likely calculating the time change. "Sorry, Jake, I just got off a 5 to 5. I'm beat. What's up? Your texts were kind of cryptic."
"Nothing much, just had a run-in with my new neighbor."
"Oh, Molly? She's the best, isn't she? Sorry, I forgot to tell you she'd be crashing there for a bit. It was all kind of last minute."
"Yeah. she's... something." I couldn't seem to get the image of her out of my head. Her full breasts bouncing to the music. The way her hair whipped around her in wild wet tangles. The way she didn't flinch, the way she danced closer, the way her eyes taunted me.
Amy snickered. "Please tell me you didn't lecture her on local ordinances or something stupid. You understand that only encourages her flagrant side."
"Well, no, but now that you mention it, she was violating several ordinances. Noise ordinance, lewd conduct—"
"Oh, please," Amy scoffed. "You need to lighten up."
"And you need to settle down. Why are you and Pat in Seattle for two months? You're due soon, aren't you?"
Even though she was older than me by eighteen months, she had always been a bit of a wild child. In an attempt to be the responsible sibling, I had been the one who got married at twenty-one when my long-time girlfriend got pregnant. At least Amy had gotten married then pregnant. But she was still a bit of a restless wanderer. Her husband Pat would follow her to the ends of the earth, though.
"I'm sorry, I didn't realize mom was with you. Do say hello.”
I snickered and she went on. “For your information, Patrick and I want to take a few months off after the baby comes so we took the chance to make some extra cash. That's very mature in my book."
I rolled my eyes. "Fair point."
"I'll have you know I'm very happy."
"I can tell.” I said smiling though at her self-righteous tone. “Now, can we talk about my problems for a moment?"
"What's wrong? Everything okay with Hailey?" A strained worry crept into her voice, but it made me smile. Amy was a good aunt to my eleven-year-old little girl.
"Hailey is fine, although she misses you and getting to talk about baby stuff."
"I miss her too. So, what's up then?"
"Well, earlier today, I got called into the principal's office be—"
"Smoking in the boys’ room again?"
"Can you be serious for a minute?" I snapped but I still had a smile on my face.
"Yes, Mr. Kingsbury."
I rubbed my forehead bracing against the memory of what had happened earlier that day. "Someone has made dating profiles with my picture and information on Soloparentmingle.com and LessonsInLove.com and has been harassing women in Sycamore Valley."
"Wait, what?" She bellowed with laughter repeating the names of the websites and explaining it to her husband. Pat's laughter joined with hers and I waited for her to compose herself.
But after a moment she simply said, "Lessons in love: Because love doesn't take a summer vacation!" She started laughing again and Pat added, "Lessons in Love: Where your heart gets an A+!"
I pinched the bridge of my nose as they both cackled in my ear. "Are you two finished?"
It went silent and I could picture Amy covering her mouth like she was tucking the giggles back in. "Yes, sorry. Continue." Her voice was subdued like she was trying hard not to laugh.
"Several complaints were lodged against me to the school about my inappropriate behavior. Apparently a few single moms and female faculty were apparently matched with me."
