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“The thing I’m mad about most,” she goes on when we’re alone, “is the fact that you think you love this man.” She snorts like I’m crazy.
I frown. “T, I can only tell you what I feel, and that’s how I’ve always been…”
“And look where it got you.” She shakes her head. “Hurt and humiliated.”
“You just can’t let it go, can you?” I fire back.
She looks affronted. “What do you mean?”
I don’t want to hurt her, but she has to stop trying to control my life, just like my father. “I love you, T, but you have to let me make my own choices and, ultimately, my own mistakes. Not every guy I’m gonna meet is bad.”
She looks enraged. I’ve never seen her like this. “Fine, make your own mistakes, just don’t come crying to me when it all falls down, which it will, again.”
I stand there, shocked at her cold words. “Why are you being like this? Especially after tonight. Beth has been arrested…” My father called me earlier, and I’m still trying to get my head around it.
Tara pushes her hair back behind her ears as she begins to fidget with her hands. “Why has Beth been arrested?”
I sigh. “The cops found stuff on her computer. Where some of the emails came from when that crazy person decided to threaten to kill me.”
Her face softens slightly. “I’m glad she’s been arrested. They need to lock her away permanently.”
I shake my head. “I can’t believe Beth would do something like this.”
“Well, it’s probably a good thing that she hasn’t been able to message and email you. She may have lured you back and God knows what would’ve happened.”
The news seems to have softened some of her icy demeanor. “I agree. Look, I don’t want to fight, T, okay? Maybe I am confusing lust with love, I don’t know, but after what I’ve been through, it feels good to feel good, you know? To be wanted and it isn't just about the sex.”
“Just promise me that you’ll take a step back, look at this objectively. Are you really going to come and live in New Orleans?” She accentuates the word like it’s insanity. “He sure as hell isn’t gonna move to LA.”
“It’s early days yet, nobody is moving anywhere,” I say gently. “If you’re saying this because you think I don’t need you anymore, you’re wrong. I will always need you. You’re my best friend. We’ve been through so much together.”
Tara nods. “I’m sorry that I said those things.” All the anger has disappeared from her face. “I’m going to go home tomorrow so you can spend some time with Rock and work out what you want to do now that Beth is under arrest. Maybe if I’m out of the picture, then things may be clearer.”
“You don’t have to do that. Honestly, Rock will keep his distance while you’re here.”
She laughs without humor. “Like you said, you deserve a chance at being happy. Will you just look at things from my perspective? That’s all I ask.”
“Of course I will.”
She smiles. “Okay.”
I lean in to give her a hug, feeling better about things. I know it’s always hard for her to let go, but something has to give. I respect her opinion, and I understand her point of view that Rock is a biker and, from her standpoint, it looks like I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.
She thinks it’s all based on lust, but she couldn’t be further from the truth.
“I have an early cab.”
“I wish you wouldn’t leave.”
We pull back, and she’s back to her old self, thank God. “It’s all gonna be okay. Beth isn’t going to hurt you anymore. Things can go back to the way they were.”
I try not to show my disappointment.
No.
Things are not going to go back to the way they were. I’ve changed.
Rather than start another argument, I nod and back off. “I need to go get some sleep.”
