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I shot him a purposeful scowl. “Don’t even go there,” I warned.
“Sorry, love. But seeing you pissed off gets me fired up.” He pulled me back against him, stealing my breath with his kiss.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
ANNA
“Can I ask you a question?” Adam asked.
I shoved my plate across the breakfast bar, entirely too full from the delicious food Adam had bought at a local restaurant and brought up to my hotel room. We’d had heaping mashed potatoes flooded in gravy with filet mignon rubbed in a raspberry sauce. It was the first time I’d been delivered filet in a box, yet it had been one of the most delicious pieces of meat I’d ever eaten. And in Kentucky we know how to make steak.
“Um. Sure.” He had been asking me questions all week, but I was pretty sure he left out some major details whenever he shared bits and pieces of his past.
This was our fourth night of hiding in my hotel room acting like a couple. The evenings were glorious—we’d talk, drink, eat, and tangle our bodies beneath the sheets . . . But he’d only stay a few hours before disappearing into the night. I didn’t ask where he was going or where he’d been. I wasn’t sure if it was my place to push. All I knew was that the limited amount of time we spent together was pure bliss.
He shifted on his barstool, facing me. His hand slipped up over mine, which was resting on the counter. “Are you happy?”
His question had me blinking. “You mean with you?”
He shook his head no. “In general.” A puff of air escaped his lips, and I noticed a strain in the muscles beneath the fabric of his gray, V-neck sweater as he lifted himself tall.
Was I happy? I wasn’t sure if anyone had ever really asked me that. Or if anyone other than my family or best friends back home cared. I looked up at the ceiling as I thought. When people ask questions like that, it’s because they’re having doubts about their own lives, I thought. So I deflected. “Are you happy?”
“When I’m with you I am. But I’ve made mistakes in my life, and I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to be someone different. Someone I’m not.”
My eyes flashed to his, searching for the meaning of his words. “And what’s wrong with the ‘someone’ you are?”
He swallowed and dragged his palms down his face, releasing a soft hiss. “I’m not who you think I am, Anna.” He rose to his feet, shoving his hands in the pockets of his black slacks.
Was he about to tell me the truth? I wasn’t sure if I wanted to hear it. I didn’t know if I could handle it if the version of Adam I’d created in my mind shattered.
No, I wasn’t ready to know. I needed more time before he delivered the blow. I might not be able to withstand what he would say.
I scrambled to think about ways to stall him.
My ex, Jax, came to mind. He’d texted me again the other day. That reminded me—I needed to get in touch with my mother. I had to figure out how he’d gotten my number.
“My past is an ugly truth. I’m not as innocent as you paint me out to be.” I was standing in front of him now, and my arms wrapped around my chest as I realized I was about to tell someone about Jax for the first time in my life. A man I’d known for three weeks, no less.
His eyes narrowed at me, and a sudden flash of nervousness swept across the features of his face. Maybe he didn’t want to hear the truth, either. Maybe he didn’t want to lose the image of me he’d been holding up so high.
My stomach quaked, and I went over to the couch and sat down, waiting for Adam to either approach or sit next to me. I rubbed my hands on my jeaned thighs as I thought about the right words. Maybe there were no “right” words.
So I started the only way I knew how—from the beginning.
“After high school, I worked on my parents’ horse farm. I didn’t think I’d ever go to college because of the costs, so for two years I stayed home.”
He moved in front of me, his hands still in his pockets, his face an unreadable mask.
“Eventually, I decided that as much as I love horses, the farm would never be enough for me. I admire my mother, but I wanted more—to travel, mostly.” To follow my dreams. “So I went to a community college outside of town and earned my associate’s degree. Then I was accepted into a four-year school so I could complete my bachelor’s.” I waved my hand in the air, nervous energy spilling inside of me. “The neighboring horse farm—my parents’ best friends—well, their son, Jax, had been asking me out since I was fifteen. I’d always insisted we stay friends. He was a couple years older than me, so it never felt right.” I sucked in a breath and released it. “When I went away to college, though, everything was so different. Life was fast-paced, there. Intense. Everyone was sleeping around and partying . . . and there I was—a twenty-two-year-old virgin in total shock.”
His hands slipped free of his pockets, and he roped a hand around the back of his neck as he studied me.
“I went on a few dates in college, but the guys always put pressure on me really early on. Maybe they saw me as a challenge?” I shrugged.
His chest inflated.
I held my hand out in front of me. “It’s not what you might be thinking. I wasn’t—you know . . .”
