Page 17 of Finding My Name


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I shake my head and walk with Leon’s hand still holding onto me. I start to dig into my purse, pulling out a bronze key and unlocking the door. With a creak, the door opens, and my mind floods with memories.

I flick on the lights. The day before we left, I got in contact with the power and water company here in Alliance, telling them I was a friend of the family and cleaning up the Gordons’ effects. I doubt they really cared that much. The lady on the line just said, ‘Of course,’ and hung up. The living room still has a loveseat and two small folding trays. A small TV stands on another folding tray. They didn’t make much money, but they did what they could to live. Of course, I wasn’t a part of that plan.

Mimi walks over to the kitchenette and swipes her finger across the counter. She looks at it with a grimace before showing the rest of us the thin layer of dust that has collected in the last two months since my parents’ deaths.

Most of the house looks untouched. The front door was locked, but each room still felt like it was expecting its owners to return.

I guess I’ve returned.

“I can’t believe I’m sleeping on the couch,” Leon complains with a frown.

“Suck it up, dude,” Ella answers, taking her and Mimi’s bags into my parents’ room. “Plus, you would hate rooming with Mimi.”

“Hey,” Mimi calls from the kitchen, “I’m not that bad. I’m just gonna be reading and writing during this trip.”

Ella enters the living room a minute later, giving Mimi her biggest I don’t believe you look. “Knowing you, you’re gonna start talking to me about the characters in those books and all the smut that happens in them. I don’t need to know about all your kinks, Mia.”

This causes Mimi’s cheeks to heat up. You can practically see the steam coming from her ears to release the excess embarrassment.

“I don’t read that much!” Mimi denies, shielding her face from the rest of us. “Not smut, at least.”

“I’ve seen your Kindle library, Mimi.” This causes even more embarrassment to fume around Mia’s face.

A giggle bubbles out of my mouth as all three of my siblings stop their conversation and look at me, forgetting whatever they were talking about and just smiling.

“What?” I ask with another giggle.

“That’s just the first smile you’ve had since we got here.” Ella offers another tight smile, waiting to see how I respond. When I don’t say anything, she asks, “Do you want to check out your old room?”

“Do you need any help?” This question comes from Leon, pointing to the bags at my side.

I shake my head. “No, I should do this alone, but I’ll let you know.”

My room was down the hall, directly opposite to my parents. My birth parents wanted me as far away from them as possible. Maybe it’s pessimistic of me, but I didn’t want to give them the benefit of the doubt.

I open the door to my room. My eyes widen at the untouched nature of it. Dust still clings to every surface, but from what I can tell from my memory, everything looks the same as the day I left. There’s a twin-size bed with dark blue sheets, and a little basketball hoop nailed above—my bio dad’s failed attempt to make me his son.

My eyes glide over a shelf until they land on a picture frame with the only family photo that the Gordon family ever took. I was still pretty young, so my blond hair was short. Even if I wanted to grow it longer, Dad wouldn’t let that idea live for very long. I was clad in some button-down and vest, Mom had her favorite blue summer dress with fake pearls, and Dad was in his two-piece navy suit. Fake smiles all around. But looking at my innocent smile pinches my throat as bile forms.

I quickly turn the photo around and ditch my bag in the room. Sally, you are only staying for a week or two. That, however, does not stop me from turning every single photo around in the house.

The next few hours are spent cleaning the house so we won’t be living the next two weeks covered in dust.

“Can we be done cleaning?” Leon throws himself onto the couch, huffing out an exaggerated breath.

I laugh, walking over to the arm of the couch and sitting down.

“Sal?”

“Mm?”

“Are we gonna go to that bonfire thing? It sounded like fun, and I think we deserve some fun after cleaning.” He starts to give me his puppy eyes.

Like always, I look him dead in the face, ready to tell him no because those eyes no longer have an effect on me. They may work on the boys, but not a sister who has had years of practice defending herself from him.

He can tell what I’m about to say. “I just think it would be nice to get your mind off of everything—even if it’s just a night.”

“You just want to party,” I accuse him.

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