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He doesn’t deny it, a grin spreading across his face. “True, but I really think it would be helpful.”
Soon, Ella and Mimi join us, but I notice something in Ella’s hand. Mimi seems to be looking between the both of us with cautious eyes like something might break if we move.
“What’s going on?” I ask, breaking the silence.
Ella takes a deep breath before holding out an envelope. “We found this in your bio parents’ room on the desk. It’s addressed to you.”
My body shoots up, and I look from my sister to her hand with wide eyes. I take the envelope, spotting my dead name drawn out in cursive. I tear it open and unfold the letter inside.
Dear Simon Sally,
My dead name is crossed out. They never loved me, yet they are using my preferred name. They knew I transitioned? How would they know that? Blood runs to my head as I continue to read the letter.
Today is the day you’d turn 16. Your Moms, wow, I can’t believe they started letting queer couples take in kids. Ten years ago, that would have never happened. They actually sent us an update. You’re our daughter. Your father didn’t want to read it. I think the shame has been eating him up for years. We weren’t ready to be parents. I’m not even sure we were ready to be married, but that’s what happens when you get pregnant, and that’s what sparks the marriage proposal. Your father doesn’t even know I’m writing all these letters, and I don’t think anyone but me will read them.
I love you, Sally.
Love, Mom
Letters?
She wrote more?
“Did you find any more of these?” I release the question at a quick pace. Quicker than any of them can answer me.
“That was the only one we saw,” Mimi answers for Ella.
I don’t even let them finish before I push past and walk into my parents’ room. I look at the desk and start tearing open each drawer, finding nothing but useless papers. No more letters.
She said she’s been writing them every year, which means there are at least two or three letters, but where are they? My body is hot from my mind racing with every possible scenario. The house was left in my preferred name, not my dead name. Now we have a letter from two years ago where she corrects herself.
“Sally.”
I ignore whatever voice is calling out to me as I run into the bathroom. Maybe she hid them because Damian didn’t know she was writing them.
Nowhere.
If there’s more, they aren’t here.
I have to find them.
“Sally.” A hand reaches for my arm, pulling me into a hug. A few seconds later, Ella’s hand is wiping away tears.
I’m crying?
“Are you okay?” I nod, and we leave the room, rejoining Mimi and Leon in the living room. “Do you need water? You said they started the pumps up again, right?”
Again, I just nod while Ella takes one of the cups we brought with us to the sink and fills it with tap water. She hands the cup to me, and I hesitantly take a drink. I need water, but this water is gross. We might need to buy a Brita pitcher to help our conscience while drinking this stuff.
“Should we call it a night?” Mimi asks.
“No,” I answer faster than they expect. “Let’s go to the bonfire. I need a drink.”
Ella and Mimi exchange a quick look. If they want to object, they don’t voice it.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Sally
