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That’s a lie. Not her first tonight, and as the conversation goes on, I realize it’s not her last either.
“You were there that night, weren’t you?”
“It’s been years, Cillian. I think I stopped by, but how can you expect me to remember? It was your relationship that tanked, not mine.”
“Did you get in bed with me?”
“It wouldn’t have been the only night I had to help you into bed. You got out of hand more than a few times after Isla broke up with you,” she says, shrugging.
“Why am I getting the impression you’re full of shit right now, Trina?” My voice is dangerously low right now. She’s walking on thin fucking ice right now.
“Because she’s putting bullshit in your head,” she whines.
We talk in circles for a few minutes before I decide it’s a lost cause.
“Go home, Trina. We’re fucking done.”
“You don’t mean that,” she argues. “She’s lying to you, not me!”
“Why would she lie, Trina? What would that gain her?” Fuck, this situation is infuriating. I’m over all the bullshit and wish I could move back time to avoid this bitch altogether.
“Because she wants you back!”
“She doesn’t,” I say with a laugh that sounds as crazy as all of Trina’s excuses. “She hates me.”
She can’t hide her smile as it grows snidely over her tear-stained face.
“You’re happy the mother of my child hates me?”
“No,” she protests, despite the evident lie.
“Get the fuck out of here, Trina. Don’t come back and stay the fuck out of my life.”
11
ISLA
Cillian:
Will you look at this and tell me if it’s okay for Sadie’s room, please?
The link I click on takes me to a children’s furniture listing for a bed that has a tent built over it. It’s adorable but excessive.
Me:
She’ll love it, but she’ll grow out of it in a few years.
Cillian:
I’ll buy her a new one when she does. But, like, it looks safe, right?
He’s been messaging me since he left a few days ago. They’ve all been about Sadie, and they’ve all been without any accusations or animosity. I promised him I would try to let him be the man he needs to be to our daughter, and I won’t go back on that.
Me:
It’s a safe bed.
His nervousness is cute. I hate admitting that because it’s Cillian and I still hate him in so many ways. This also serves as a reminder that had he been around while I was pregnant, he would have experienced all of this at the same time I did. We would have navigated it together. The way it should have been. But now, if I give him an inch, it’s only for Sadie. Not because of the way his bullshit sneak attack kisses make my body react.
