AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Play dates. Fuck, she’s adorable.
“My sex life is an open book to you, Ms. Cole. I haven’t had sex with anyone since I moved to Seattle.”
“What the fuck, Damian? You’ve been here for three years.”
“Yes.”
“And you haven’t wanted to have sex with a single person in all that time?”
“That’s not what I said.” I’ve wanted to have sex with Alexander, and her, if I’m honest about it. Though maybe I should keep that part to myself since she’s already labeled me Ted Bundy.
“Will you explain it to me?” Her eyes soften, concern creeping in. She’s far more intuitive than I’d expect from someone as playful as she is.
“I don’t like to touch or be touched, in general. I’ve never seen a therapist about it, but I’d imagine they would tell me it was because I grew up in a cold household. Physical affection isn’t something my parents gave. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if they quit having sex with each other after my mother became pregnant with me,” I tell her. “Not that they didn’t have lovers, there were plenty of those. But the family image was to be maintained.”
“The image?” Her nose crinkles again.
“Yes, upstanding citizens, free of flaws. It’s all bullshit, of course. Everyone in New Orleans society knows it, but they all have their own images to portray so nobody fusses over the details of it.”
“I guess it’s not so different than hockey life with all of the NHL’s unwritten rules,” she muses. “I’m sorry you grew up that way. No child should lack affection. Did you have anyone that cared for you properly?”
“I had a nanny or two that I liked, but they became nonexistent when I was around twelve and could be left to my own devices.” Angelique is the one I remember best, a sweet Creole woman who would tell me endless stories about the bayou she grew up in. She stayed with me until she fell in love with a man that worked at our corner grocery store. She was ready to start a family of her own and I never blamed her for leaving. I missed her, though.
“You touch me.”
“Unexplainable, really. You’re disgusting to look at and you smell awful.”
“Oh my god, you didn’t just say that.” She laughs. It’s a little like windchimes, soothing in its chaotic tingling. “Do you touch Zander the same way?”
“I do. I’ve always been at ease with him,” I admit.
“Why do you think that is?”
“We understand each other. From the beginning, it was like we could finish each other’s sentences. He’s not unexpected and there’s a security in that. One I didn’t know I needed until I met him. I think of Alexander and warmth creeps into my cold heart.” I run my foot along her leg, down to her foot, where I try to tickle it with my own.
“That’s sweet,” she says. “Thank you for sharing that with me.”
“You shared yourself with us, it’s the least I could do.”
“Do you have questions for me? I feel like I’ve been peppering you with them all day.”
“Because you have,” I say, playfully rolling my eyes. “First things first. Are you on birth control?”
“Yes.”
“What kind?”
“I get a shot and I’m ridiculously punctual about it.”
“Good. When was the last time you had sex?”
“It’s been close to six months,” she says with a dramatic sigh. “I’m not as celibate as you, but it hasn’t been a priority since school started back up.”
“Summer fling,” I ask her, reaching to grab her foot and pulling so she lies flatter on the sofa. I knead under her toes.
“I guess. More just had an itch that needed scratching. He had a big neck.”
“Is that code for something?”
