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“Why not?” Gasping for air, she clutched her throat, panic overtaking her. “It’s the truth.”
“Shannon, breathe.” I reached over and rubbed her back. “Take a breath.”
Sagging forward in her seat, she clutched her skinny knees and wrestled to get her breathing back on track.
“Good girl.” Pulling up to the footpath outside our house, I parked the car, but left the engine running. “Nice and slow.”
She remained in the car long after her breathing had steadied, and the longer she lingered, the heavier my conscience became.
“Shannon?”
Silence.
“Are you listening to me?”
She nodded once, but kept her eyes trained straight ahead.
“If he touches you again, Shannon, I want you to grab the sharpest knife you can find, and I want you to plunge it into his heart.”
Finally, she turned to look at me, eyes full of despondence. “You’re not coming back, are you?”
“I can’t,” I strangled out, willing her to understand that my sanity was at stake. “If I go back inside that house, I’ll kill them both.”
The look on her face assured me that she didn’t understand.
The look on her face assured me that I had broken her heart.
Bitterly disappointed in me, my sister unfastened her seatbelt and climbed out of the car.
“Goodbye, Joey,” was all she said, before slamming the door shut and walking away.
44
I’m Fine!
AOIFE
“Aoife?” My father stood in the doorway of my room, eyes full of concern. “Are you alright, pet?”
“Fine,” I choked out, pacing my bedroom floor like a maniac as I tried and failed to process that last few hours of my life. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“You don’t seem fine.”
That’s because I’m not.
“What do you want me to do, take a fucking lie-detector test?” I snapped, running my hands through my hair, only to shudder violently at the sensation. “I said I’m fine.”
“It’s just that I can hear you banging around up here from the sitting room, and I can’t hear my film with all of the stomping.”
“What do you want me to do?” I demanded, throwing my hands up. “Cut my legs off and crawl instead?”
“Jesus,” Dad muttered, rubbing his jaw. “Right. I’m off out for a pint with your mother. Stomp away to your heart’s content.”
The minute he closed my bedroom door behind him, a full-body shudder rolled through me and I shook my hands out, desperate to rid myself of this horrible anxiety.
Stripping down to my underwear, I quickly balled up my clothes and walked over to my window, not hesitating to throw them out of it.
It wasn’t enough.
