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Exhaling a cloud of smoke, I fought an internal battle with myself to not throw in the towel and do exactly what I knew I would. In the end, it was only a matter of minutes before I grabbed my phone—the same phone that I’d had to pry from my brother’s fingers this morning.
Blowing out a frustrated breath, I unlocked the screen, declined another call from Shane, brought up the name Molloy in my contacts, and pressed Call.
She answered on the fourth ring but didn’t greet me. I didn’t blame her. I didn’t deserve to be greeted. If anything, I deserved to be hung up on.
“It’s me,” I said quietly, taking another drag of my smoke. “Can you talk?”
The hustle and bustle in the background let me know that she was at work. When it grew quieter on the other end, I knew she must have moved to someplace quiet.
“Okay,” she finally said down the line. “I can hear you.”
“Are you at work?”
“No,” she bit out, tone laced with venomous sarcasm. “I’m out on the town with my new boyfriend.”
Taking her bitchiness on the chin, I took another drag of my smoke before asking, “And how’s he treating you?”
“A hell of a lot better than the last asshole I made the mistake of falling for,” came her smart-ass response. “What do you want, Joe?”
“I just…” Shaking my head, I blew out a pained breath before saying, “I wanted to check in on you.”
“Why?”
“You know why, Molloy.” Shrugging helplessly, I concentrated on a spot of dirt on the path. “I didn’t flip a switch and turn my feelings off—”
“Don’t,” she choked out. “Not when I have three more hours at work to get through.”
I bit back a pained growl and steered the conversation in another direction. “Tony said that you’ve been crying.”
“And?”
“And?” I shook my head. “It fucking guts me to hear that. I don’t want you to cry, Molloy.”
“Well, unfortunately, that’s usually what happens to a girl when her boyfriend sacks her off.”
“Stop.” I flinched, hating both the words and the pain in her voice. “I didn’t sack you off.”
“You broke up with me, Joey,” she replied, tone thick. “You can wrap it up as sweetly as you want, but in the end, that’s exactly what you did.”
“I still love you.”
I heard her sudden intake of breath, but she didn’t say anything for a long beat. “Don’t.”
“I fucking love you, Aoife Molloy,” I repeated, focusing on an oil stain on the back wall of the garage. “I always will.”
“Then take it back.”
“I can’t.” I shook my head, feeling like my heart was splitting clean down the center. “I’m not good for you.”
All I wanted to do was sprint over to the Dinniman and wrap her up in my arms, but I couldn’t afford to make another mistake with this girl. Not when I’d already crushed her.
“Are you clean?”
I closed my eyes and nodded weakly. “Yes.”
“Since when?”
“I haven’t touched anything since that night.”
