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What about Tadhg?
What about Ollie?
What about Sean?
What about Darren?
“What about me?” I broke down and cried. “What about me, Shannon? What about me!”
“I love you,” she wept, unwilling to let me go. “I do. I love you so much, Joe. I care about you. You’re important to me. We can figure this out.” Desperation filled her voice. “We can get through this together. You don’t need to do—”
“Listen,” I interrupted before she could cut me any deeper with her words. “I need you to take care of yourself, okay? I need you to do that for me.” Trembling, I leaned in close and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Don’t depend on her, or Darren, or anyone else, because in the end, the world will let you down. They will all let you down.” Anyone with the Lynch last name, at least.
“And you?” my baby sister asked, looking up at me like I could somehow fix her world when I couldn’t even fix my own. “Does that include you?”
“Especially me,” I forced myself to tell her, though it almost killed me to say it.
And then I did the best thing I could do for her.
For all of them.
I walked away.
“Where’s he going?”
“Is he leaving us?”
“Forever?”
“But he can’t go!”
“Joey, don’t go!”
“Joey, think about this!”
Forcing myself to block out their voices, I hurried down the staircase and moved for the front door, needing to get the fuck away from these children before I lost my nerve.
They would be okay.
I had to believe it.
“Do something, Mam. Say something. Please! Stop him!”
“Joey, don’t go!”
“You swore. You fucking promised you wouldn’t leave us!”
“Don’t rush out,” Darren tried to plead, blocking my exit. “Please. Just sleep on it and we can talk about it in the morning when you have a clear head.”
“I can’t do this,” I replied lifelessly. “Get out of the way.”
“Joey, no. Talk to me.”
“Get out of the way, Darren,” I repeated. “Now.”
“O-ee. O-ee.”
Sean’s voice almost broke me, and I sucked in a shuddering breath, too afraid to turn around and look at the baby I’d given up so much of my life to raise. “I’m so sorry.”
