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“Good. Because neither am I.” Breath hitching in my throat, I wrapped my arms around my body, willing myself to be a stronger woman and not break down.
You can do this, Aoife.
You can let him go.
No, you can’t.
You can’t.
Don’t let him go!
“Molloy.”
“Just put your arms around me and hold me like you’re not going to see me for another three months,” I ordered hoarsely, needing him to not say anything that would shatter my barely held-together resolve, as I walked into his arms.
Inhaling deeply, I noted the clean scent of him. Lynx, fresh air, and nothing else.
No alcohol or smoke.
God, he must be in so much pain right now…
“Jesus.” His lips moved to my hair, and like the habit of a lifetime, my trembling hands moved to hook the waistband of his trousers. “You don’t wait, do you hear me?”
His words infuriated me, but I didn’t respond.
How could I?
It was taking everything in me to hold it together.
I wouldn’t fall apart now.
Not here.
“You live your life, okay, Molloy?”
As if that was even an option.
I was pregnant with his baby, for Christ’s sake.
His comments only went to show how unattached from the real world he had become. How badly his mind had slipped. How utterly broken and irrational his thought process had become.
Another could mistake his words for selfishness, but it wasn’t true. He was the least selfish person I knew. He just wasn’t here mentally. He had detached from reality.
“Just shut up, Joey Lynch.” My voice cracked, and I clung to him, not daring to give in to any notions of doubt I had that this wouldn’t work.
I couldn’t afford to think like that.
He was going to get better.
And then he was going to come home to me.
“I love you,” I squeezed out, clenching my eyes shut tightly.
“You shut up, Molloy,” came his broken reply as he pressed a hard kiss to my forehead. I wanted to tattoo the feel of his lips on my skin, terrified that I would never feel it again. His hands moved from my shoulders to my neck before settling on my cheeks. “I love you, too.”
“I’ll be here when you get out.” I knew I sounded pathetic, like another stupid woman putting her future on the line for a man, but I needed to give him hope.
“Don’t be here.” He leaned in and kissed me hard. “Be somewhere better.”
