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“Here?” she finally asked, reaching a hand out to trail over my chest. She pressed her palm to the skin covering my heart. “In here?”
I nodded slowly.
“And here?” she asked, trailing her fingertips over my temple. “In here?”
Shuddering, I moved to snatch her hand up, desperate for the physical contact.
“I’m proud of you, Joe.”
“You are?”
Smiling softly, she trailed her fingers down my neck before placing her hand back down on my chest. “I am.”
“I don’t deserve it.”
Wordlessly, she took my hand in hers and placed it to her chest. “Feel that?”
“Yeah.” Her heart was hammering violently against my palm. “I feel it.”
“That’s you,” she whispered. “That’s what you do to me.”
“Still?”
“Then. Still. Always.”
“Aoife…”
“No more chances, Joe,” she croaked out, eyes filling up with tears. “This is the last one, okay?”
“Yeah.” Nodding, I blew out a ragged breath. “It’s the last one I’ll need.”
“I mean it,” she added. “You screw up again and we’re done. One more time and I’m gone. I’m out of your life and there’s no way back.” She eyed me warily. “I can’t risk his safety.” A shiver rolled through her. “I won’t put us before our son.”
“I don’t want you to,” I strangled out, breathing hard and fast as the prospect of having her back in my life danced before my eyes. “He comes first.”
“Before drugs?”
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I nodded stiffly. “You both come first.”
“I know it won’t be easy for you.”
“No, it won’t,” I agreed. “But I’m making you and him my first priority.”
“I don’t want you to drink either,” she blurted out. “If that’s a hard limit for you, then you need to say so now. I know you’re not alcohol-dependent, but I can’t risk you losing your head. I—”
“I get it,” I hurried to soothe. “And I agree. I won’t drink. I know what’s at stake.”
“I want to keep you alive, Joe,” she breathed, looking into my eyes. “I need you alive.” Chewing on her bottom lip, she glanced at the bassinet next to her bed. “I don’t want to do this on my own.”
My heart cracked in my chest.
“You won’t have to,” I vowed, finding strength in having someone need me again.
I needed that, I suddenly realized.
I needed to be needed.
I was programmed to take care of the people I loved.
