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“That’s the bleeding truth,” I snapped. “That’s all we are.”
Jesus, even your mother can see through you…
“It’s completely natural to want to experience pleasure with a partner,” Mam continued to say, ignoring my pleas. “When you’re both old enough to fully understand the act of love.”
“Jesus Christ,” I groaned. “Please stop.”
“But, I know how these things can go. Not everyone waits, no matter how important it is to wait…” She paused to glare knowingly at me. “When it happens—which I hope is a long, long time from now—then it is necessary to use a condom,” she pressed. “Do you know how to roll one on properly, love? Did your father explain how it works? You need to make sure the shaft of your private part is—”
“I can’t hear this,” I groaned in despair. “Seriously, Ma.”
“Sex in real life is nothing like what happens in those blue movies Gerard gives you,” Mam continued. “It’s important to know that a woman has needs. In real life, girls don’t all scream and carry on like porn stars. And you need to respect a girl’s body at all times—”
“Please.” I pressed my fists into my eye sockets so hard I was seeing stars. “Just stop.”
“I’m trying to help you, love, so you know what to expect.”
“I know what to expect, Ma,” I groaned while I contemplated bathing in bleach. “I’m not a bleeding kid.”
My mother’s head snapped toward me, eyes wide. “So you’re not a…”
“No, Ma.” I dropped my head in my hands and fought back the urge to fucking cry. “I’m not a virgin.”
“Oh, dear…okay. That’s okay, love. That’s perfectly fine,” she rambled, tone forced. “I just presumed that since you’ve never brought a girl home before now, or talked about girlfriends, that you weren’t pursuing any love partners—”
“Keep talking and I’m going to jump out a window,” I warned her. “I’m not messing around. I will go upstairs and hurl myself off the fucking roof.”
“I know it’s uncomfortable, but you can talk about these kinds of things with me, son,” Mam urged. “I was a teenager once upon a time, too, you know,” she added, reaching over to pat my shoulder. “I understand all the urges your body is going through, and a female perspective can be helpful.”
“How is any of this helpful?” I choked out, horrified. “I thought you loved me.”
Mam laughed softly. “Of course, I love you.”
“Then why are you doing this to me?” I cried. “Why are you meddling in my life?”
“Because I’m not blind, Jonathan,” Mam replied, full-naming me to let me know how serious she was about this. “I see the way you look at Shannon and the way she looks at you.”
“We are just friends,” I bit out.
“You’re in love.”
My jaw fell open. “We are bleeding not.”
The look my mother gave me was one of disbelief. “Are you taking things at her pace?”
“I’m serious, Ma,” I snapped. “We’re just friends. I haven’t touched her.”
Mam visibly sagged in relief.
“So, you didn’t do, uh, let’s call it the deed, with Shannon—”
“Jesus Christ, no, Ma!” I barked, interrupting her before she caused permanent trauma to my brain.
“Oh, that’s good,” my mother breathed. “You’re a good boy.”
A good boy? Was I a bleeding dog?
And there was nothing good about what I wanted to do to Shannon Lynch.
