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“I’m playing bleeding PlayStation with the girl,” I strangled out. “Shouldn’t that tell you how safe I’m being?”
“That’s true.” Mam nodded and sniffled.
I sighed. “Thank you.”
“So, I don’t have to worry, do I?” she added. “Being safe?” She sniffled. “Using—oh, dear god, condoms—”
“No, Ma, you don’t have to worry because I am not having sex,” I said, sticking to the story, and pulled her back to my chest. “So just relax.”
How the hell did I get myself into this situation? What was my life coming to?
In the space of one day, I had upset no less than three females. The one that created me by telling her that I was no longer an innocent. The one that used me by telling her via text message to fuck off. And the one that blew my fucking mind.
Jesus Christ, my dick had a lot to answer to.
To be fair, I didn’t think I actually upset Shannon today, but it was still early, and I was running on some serious shitty luck, so my chances of making it out of this glorified playdate without fucking up was slim.
“Ma,” I said after a solid ten minutes of her sniffling on my chest. “I’m going to have to go back up to Shannon now.”
“Okay, love,” she sniffled. “You won’t do anything—”
“No, Ma,” I coaxed, freeing myself from her hold and standing up. “I won’t lay a finger on her because we are just friends, and I am a virgin.”
“I know you’re not,” she croaked out. “But I’m trusting you to do the right thing.”
“You can trust me, because nothing is happening between us,” I repeated for the millionth time. “But I need to take a shower because I’m fucking soaked, so I’m going to use your bathroom, okay?” I moved for the door only to turn back and say, “Call me when it’s time to pick up your demented dogs.”
“About that,” Mam sniffled.
“You lied, didn’t you?” I gave her an accusing glare. “You don’t have to pick Bonnie and Cupcake up at all tonight, do you?”
Of course, she lied.
One look at her sheepish expression and it was plain to see.
“You meddler,” I accused.
“You sexer,” Mam shot back in a tone as equally accusing.
For fuck’s sake. I wasn’t going to win here.
Holding my hands up in defeat, I hurried out of the kitchen before she drowned me in a fresh batch of tears.
46The Consequences of Kissing Boys in Bedrooms
SHANNON
Just like the last time I showered in Johnny’s glorious bathroom, I took a crazy amount of time. I couldn’t help myself.
I blamed the jets. And his bodywash. And the smell of him.
God, I was losing my mind.
When I finally climbed out of the tub, I wrapped myself up in one of the huge fluffy white towels hanging on his rack and sighed when the luxurious fabric grazed my skin. Johnny would never understand how lucky he was to grow up in a home like this, with parents like his and towels this soft.
For a long time, I just stood there in the middle of his bathroom, listening to absolutely nothing.
No screaming voices. No stomping footsteps. No rattling door handles. No feelings of impending doom.
