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And there was my hat trick…
Going against every instinct in my body, because my judgment was clouded with the urge I had to comfort her, I’d given in to her pleas to get her clothes and take her home. But then I saw her—I fucking saw all of her—sprawled out on my bed, with my dog on top of her, and her towel hanging open, and my brain switched off, body taking over. And then she blew my carefully constructed world apart by putting her mouth on mine.
Shannon kissed me and I froze.
I completely fucking choked up, attacked by every abnormal, foreign emotion and sensation a person could think of.
I didn’t expect it. I didn’t expect her.
It all hit me like a head-on collision in that exact moment and I clammed up, feeling more exposed and vulnerable in that moment than I had in my whole life. Contrary to how good my body assured me having her lips on mine was, or how much harder my heart had to work when she was around, my head knew better.
It was not good. It was not fucking good at all. It took every ounce of self-control I had inside of my body to hold myself back. Especially when everything inside of me demanded I do the opposite.
I knew, though. I knew if I gave in to the burning need inside of me and kissed her back, then that would be it.
I would be completely fucked.
And so would Shannon.
Because my being here was temporary and that girl reeked of permanence. The best I could offer was friendship, even if that was the last thing I wanted.
“Shannon?” Resting my forehead against the doorframe, I continued to knock. “Will you please come out?” She locked herself in my bathroom thirty minutes ago and hadn’t come out since. “Please?”
Silence.
Exhaling heavily, I knocked again. “Just open the door and we can talk about it.”
Nothing.
“Please, Shannon,” I growled, resisting the urge to bang my head against the frame. “Just come out. You don’t even have to talk to me if you don’t want to. I’ll take you home and I won’t say a word if you—”
I let my words trail off when I heard the sound of the lock clicking.
Moments later, my bathroom door opened inward and there she was, fully dressed in her damp uniform, with puffy eyes and blotchy cheeks.
Fuck. I made her cry. Again.
“I’m ready to go home now,” she told me in a small voice, not meeting my eyes. “If that’s okay?”
“Yeah, of course it’s okay,” I replied thickly.
“Thank you.” With her head down, Shannon stepped around me and walked over to my bedroom door.
She looked so vulnerable and uncertain that all I wanted to do was wrap her up in my arms.
My heart was on fire.
Get it together, Kavanagh.
Don’t do anything stupid.
Don’t kiss her.
You know you won’t be able to stop.
With great effort, I didn’t go to her and walked over to my wardrobe instead. “Just give me a sec, okay?” I told her.
She nodded and dropped her gaze to her clasped hands.
