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I promise it’ll be better down there.
“Dad!”
Hold your breath.
And then he was pulling me out of the water.
“Breathe, kid, breathe!”
You deserve to be punished.
“Keep trying, dammit!”
You deserve to be hurt.
“One, two, three, four, five!”
You deserve to be ruined.
“Stand clear.”
From the inside out.
“We’ve got a pulse…”
“No!” Gasping for air, I scrambled out of bed, not stopping until I had collapsed in a heap on the bedroom floor. “Christ.” Panic-stricken, I ran my hands through my sweat-soaked hair and then scrubbed my face. Anxiety was thrashing around inside of me, causing my heart to buck around like a demonic ping-pong ball in my chest.
I could still taste the water in my mouth, feel the panic as my lungs filled and burned to the point of bursting.
Chest heaving and breathing ragged, I stared up at the ceiling in the darkness, still desperately clawing for air.
Thud.
Thud.
Thud.
My heart was beating so hard, climbing so high in my chest, that I could almost taste it in my throat.
Metallic.
Sinful.
Wrong!
“You’re okay,” I tried to tell myself, but felt no comfort. “You’re okay.”
Thud.
Thud.
Thud.
I couldn’t breathe.
Yes, you can.
You’re breathing just fine, asshole.
