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“Ger—” My words were swallowed up by his lips when they landed on mine.
What had started as a featherlight kiss quickly progressed into something much deeper and far more serious. The feel of his tongue in my mouth as it dueled with mine, taking slow, drugging swipes of pleasure.
“I’ve been a poor man for you,” he broke our kiss by saying. “I see that now. It took me awhile, and I fully admit that I’ve been a little caught up in my fucked-up brain, but I’m seeing it now, Claire.” His tone was charged, his eyes full of urgency. “I’m seeing you, okay? Not that I ever didn’t. But I’m hearing you, baby.” Exhaling a shaky breath, he dropped his head to rest against mine. “From here on out, I will follow you anywhere.”
My heart leapt in my chest. “What do you mean?”
“I mean it’s yours,” he ground out hoarsely. “Whatever you want from me. It’s yours, Claire.”
“You really mean that?”
“I really mean it,” he vowed, looking just as petrified as I felt. “I want to be your boyfriend and I want you to be my girlfriend.”
“You do?” I squeezed out, trembling.
He nodded. “Absolutely.”
“I’m scared now,” I admitted, heart racing wildly in my chest as I looked up at him. “I don’t want to get hurt.” I don’t want you to hurt me.
“I don’t blame you,” he surprised me by saying. “I know I’ve given you the worst impression of me at times, and I can’t take any of it back, but you need to know that I never intended to hurt you.”
“I understand that, Gerard, I do.”
“Thank you,” he replied, exhaling a sigh of relief. “For being the most understanding person I’ve ever met.”
“I want to be with you,” I heard myself admit, voice torn from the countless tears I’d spent. “I want everything you just said, but I don’t…” I paused and shook my head, unsure of how to voice my thoughts aloud.
“It’s okay,” he was quick to reassure. “You don’t need to make any decisions right now.”
“I don’t?”
“No, you don’t,” he confirmed, tipping my chin up and offering me a small smile. “We can put the brakes on until you’re ready.”
“We can?”
“Yeah, Claire-Bear, we can.”
This time, when he reached for my hand, it felt distinctively different than all the other times.
It felt more important.
It felt like I was being seen and my feelings were being validated.
It felt like forever.
“You waited for me,” he said, squeezing my hand. “Now it’s my turn to wait for you.”
59
I Can’t Carry This Anymore
GIBSIE
“We need to talk,” were the first words that came out of my mouth when I found Hugh slumped on his bed the following morning. Clad in my school uniform, I eyed his matching one strewn across his bedroom floor and frowned. “You’re not going to school?”
A muffled “no” sounded from beneath the duvet.
“But we have a match today.”
