AllFreeNovel
Share Us
According to Shannon, the Kavanaghs had offered their Dublin home as a sanctuary to Gerard and his mother while his stepfather moved his belongings from the house. A legal separation had already been put in motion, and Sadhbh had decided it best to remove her son from the home until all traces of Keith and his son had been wiped away.
“Did he say how Gerard was?” I managed to ask while my heart hung by a thread. “Do you know when they’re coming home?”
While John Sr. had driven the Gibsons to Dublin, it was his son who had remained by their side at the property. Johnny hadn’t left Gerard’s side for more than a couple of hours since the revelation. He’d even missed Christmas at home to be there for his friend, and it warmed my heart to know that wherever Gerard was right now, he had Johnny.
Hugh shook his head. “I heard something about them coming back before the new year, but I’m not sure.”
I was quiet for a long time, mulling over this new information while I continued to replay the night of the dance on a loop in my mind. “Do you think he’ll hate me forever, Hugh?”
Sighing heavily, my big brother unfolded his arms and draped one over my shoulders. “I don’t think he knows how to hate, Claire.” He sighed again. “He’s been given so many reasons to hate the world, but it’s just not in his nature.”
“Because he’s such a good person,” I squeezed out, feeling my emotions go haywire again. “He’s always called me sunshine, Hugh, but knowing what we do now, knowing how badly he suffered in silence and continued to smile?” I shook my head and exhaled a shaky breath. “I don’t think there’s another person on this earth more deserving of the title.”
“Yeah,” my brother agreed quietly. “I know what you mean.”
“What’s going to happen?” I asked.
“What do you mean?”
“After Christmas, when we go back to school. Nothing’s going to be the way it was before.” A shiver rolled through me. “But I’m with him, Hugh,” I whispered. “I’m all in with Gerard.”
Nodding stiffly, my brother continued to stare right ahead, but I knew he knew what I meant. He understood the importance of what I said. There was no coming back from what had happened. “You loved her once.”
“Yeah, Hugh, we both did, and look where it got us.”
“Don’t turn your back on her, Claire.” He swallowed deeply. “She needs you.”
“She might need me, Hugh,” I replied hoarsely. “But I don’t need her.”
“Don’t say that, Claire. You’re not cruel.”
“No, I’m not,” I agreed. “But I’m not a liar, either.”
His arm dropped from my shoulder. “Claire.”
“I can’t let it go, okay,” I strangled out. “I can’t get past the way she’s treated him. Knowing that he’s been shouldering this weight on his own for years and taking her abuse. I kept quiet because I believed what Lizzie believed. But knowing the truth changes everything. I can’t go back. I won’t.”
81
I’ve Made My Mind Up
GIBSIE
“At this stage of the investigation, I’m afraid we have no further updates.”
We’d been back from Dublin for less than an hour, and already the Gards were at the door.
I knew it would be a regular occurrence for the next while—John Sr. had told me as much—but it didn’t make it any easier. Because when they sat me down and tried to coax and coddle me, they seemed to forget that they weren’t talking to the seven-year-old child I had been when it started. I wasn’t that same little boy who had buried his father and sister the month before his stepbrother pinned him to the edge of his bed and defiled his body. I wasn’t the eight-, nine-, ten-, or eleven-year-old version of that kid anymore, either.
I was seventeen years old, with the body of a full-grown man, and I dared any motherfucker to put his hand on me now. I had a girlfriend, and friends, and a life that I refused to put on hold just because the adults around me had finally gotten the memo.
I’d made it this far and it wasn’t from rocking in a corner. Sure, I took a short leave of absence from reality when everything came out, but I had a firm handle on my sanity again. Well, whatever little bit I had in the first place.
I wasn’t sure if I would ever fully get over what happened, and to be honest, I wasn’t even sure if I was handling it in a healthy way, but I knew I couldn’t erase it or escape it, so I just kept going. And knowing that there was a small chance this might stop him from fucking up another kid’s life gave me a sliver of comfort. Either way, today was New Year’s Eve, and I had zero plans to carry that bastard’s burden into 2006.
“No further updates?” Wiping her nose with a balled-up tissue, Mam stared at the detective sitting opposite her at our kitchen table. “So, that’s it? He’s still walking around a free man?”
“As of now the relevant authorities in Mumbai liaising with the Garda Siochana have been unable to locate Mark Allen. According to airlines officials, he never arrived at Shirdi International Airport on the dates you provided us with.”
