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Yet he pulled a one-eighty on me and used my name against me. For the sake of his job, and likely fuelled by his anger, he captured me. Took me away from the life I so carefully tried to craft for myself.
He not only abducted me and locked me away, but he was actively taking away my ability to choose.
I always knew I’d marry one day, but I planned to do so carefully. To think it through and question if that person was right for me. At no step of the way did I want someone else calling the shots for me.
I took my autonomy seriously, since I was well aware of how different my situation was from other women from the mob. I wasn’t prepared to give up that freedom so easily.
Nik and I had an amazing night together in Europe, and I even felt safe with him. If things had happened differently, I even would’ve considered reconnecting with him. He was strikingly beautiful, and he spoke to me like I wasn’t just a family ornament.
But after witnessing firsthand how easily he could commit himself to doing something unthinkable to impress his boss and choose to throw that trust away in one fell swoop, it was hard to picture myself being remotely happy with him.
After all of that, he still had the gall to mention marriage. Despite my rage and rampaging, he was determined for us to wed.
It still made no sense to me. He couldn’t possibly mean to do something so stupid, especially after my resistance.
I couldn’t help but wonder if he was having some sort of psychotic break. To take me and put a target not only on his boss but his own back, too. To demand that we get married despite the stupid move he made.
Regardless, I held on to the hope that my brothers would eventually come to find me. Even if I didn’t check in with them all the time, they weren’t afraid to reach out if they hadn’t heard from me in a while. With any luck, they’d get the urge to see what was going on, and they’d try their hardest to track me down.
It was a shame that Nik chose to force my hand since I would’ve been more than willing to get to know him before. If he chose to switch his allegiance, I imagined my brothers would’ve appreciated me connecting with a Russian man.
With my fingers crossed, I forced myself to think about being found. At the very least, I hoped I could will it into existence.
***
I had no way of knowing just how much time had passed, but it was long enough for me to question if Yaro and Vik would ever find me.
Tossed between states of exhaustion and panic, I couldn’t catch a break. My sleeping pattern was a mess, and aside from the sun rising and falling, I was left guessing how long I had been locked in that room.
After reaching a full day of being there, I couldn’t resist eating anymore. When food was dropped off, I’d wait until Nik would sigh and give up, leaving a new takeout bag by the door. Then, when I knew he was gone, I’d hurry over and dig in. While I wasn’t being starved by any means, I savored every bite, since it offered me a semblance of normalcy. It reminded me of my humanity, which seemed to be slipping away piece by piece.
When I got sick of laying down in the mess of blankets on the floor, I took myself to the bathroom and bathed. Fortunately, the vanity was stocked with towels and toiletries.
But even when I was clean and looking myself over in the mirror, I was seeing less and less of myself in that reflection. My eyes looked dull, I had heavy bags under them, and that overall enthusiasm I had was gone.
I had become a shell of myself, and I didn’t know how much more I could handle.
Left with nothing to do but nap, bathe, and pace the bedroom, I even started cleaning up the space. I knew that a messy room made for a messy mind, and as much as I wanted to protest Nik in whatever way I could, sitting in that disaster was too much for me.
I eventually put the bed back together, fixed the curtains and whatever hanging pictures weren’t broken, and put what I ruined in a pile in the corner.
I didn’t want him to think I was obedient because of it, but I couldn’t stand looking at that disaster anymore.
After the fact, there was nothing left to do. My hope was slipping along with my willpower, and everything was screaming for it to end. I just wanted to be let out.
But as dawn broke and light filled the room, another long night of nightmares and fear wore me down to exhaustion, and I crawled into bed. Closing my eyes, I eventually drifted off to sleep despite my weakening heart and silently prayed it would be over sooner rather than later.
***
Just as disoriented and confused by the passing of time as I had been since getting locked in this room, I blinked through my over-tired state and rubbed my eyes.
Seeing those all too familiar walls and light fixtures was enough to weigh my heart down all over again and take away any hope I had.
But as I sat up and looked around the room, my pulse screamed in my ears.
Across from me, hanging from the wardrobe door, was a white dress cover. I knew better than to think it was harmless. That it was anything other than a wedding dress.
My skin went ice-cold as I stood and took the softest, most hesitant steps toward it.
