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There’s no way. This can’t be happening.
The words moved through my head again and again, colliding with one another as I reached for the zipper and carefully pulled it open.
The more I exposed the dress, the heavier that reality became. The white fabric looked back at me, and my stomach twisted in knots.
He really meant it. He was dead serious about us getting married.
While he hadn’t made any indication that he was exaggerating or hoping to scare me into submitting, I had hoped either one would be true. I so badly wished he had changed his mind.
But it was evident that he hadn’t. He was fully committing to the idea of the two of us getting married despite my wishes, and he meant to pull me along for the ride.
Even looking at the dress felt like surrendering. Like watching my free will and my future slip from my hands.
It was a bad omen. A reminder that Nik wanted to own me. To dictate what I did, and to use me like a pawn in the grand scheme of things. While I once thought he saw me as an equal, it became incredibly clear that he wanted to humiliate me.
The dress itself was nearly as offensive as him forcing me into it. From the ballroom skirt to the sweetheart neckline and the puffy sleeves, I hated every inch of it.
I hated the dress, and I hated him.
While that rage had dissolved within me over the days that passed, looking at the hideous gown reignited it.
My entire body felt like it had been set on fire as I reached for the dress and pulled it off the hanger. Grabbing a chunk of it, I pulled, delighting in the sound of it ripping.
Like a euphoric rush, I needed to hear it again. And again.
Through the white-hot wrath, I tore, shredding every piece of fabric I could get my hands on.
Vocalizing my anger, my despair, and everything else in between, I let it all out.
Nik meant to marry me in that monstrosity of a dress, and if it didn’t exist anymore, then at least I could imagine the wedding would be called off. It felt like a long shot, but that detail didn’t matter.
I needed to destroy it. I had to.
Unable to think clearly or to try and keep my cool, I took everything out on the dress. The satisfying shredding of fabric, expensive or not, felt like the only reward I had earned myself in the amount of time I had been locked in that room. It was a release, and Nik couldn’t take it away from me.
Even at that moment, I still couldn’t believe how things had soured between us. How everything could go so horribly in such a short amount of time.
I did care about him before, and despite not knowing him very long, the thought of being in a relationship had crossed my mind. At one point, it would’ve been nice. In fact, I likely would’ve followed him back to New York and ignored my trip to Africa altogether. I never would’ve discovered my passion for medicine, and it would’ve all been for him.
But since he decided at the hotel he didn’t want to pursue anything with me because of his baseless fear, I was locked away in his spare bedroom, tearing the dress until it was unrecognizable.
I didn’t care if it made him angry, or if he yelled at me. I wanted him to fully conceptualize my true feelings. I wanted him to face it head-on and realize that I wouldn’t go quietly.
But as I ended up in a pile of tulle and white satin, tears burned my eyes, and the last bit of my fire was snuffed out.
Exhausted and at the brink of insanity, I lay there, wondering how I would ever get out.
Chapter 8 - Nik
My mind was supposed to be with me outside of Erasmo’s mansion, focusing on the task at hand. But that was the problem with taking security shifts—the empty time left too much room for overthinking. Despite my body being in front of the door, my head was back at home, wondering what Anastasia was doing. Wondering how we were ever going to come back from what I did.
Anastasia hated me. She said as much to my face. She despised me, and I couldn’t blame her. I knew I deserved it, but it was so far from what I wanted.
Even with Gabe standing next to me with his arms folded behind his back, I couldn’t tear myself away from those burdensome thoughts.
I was playing with fire, and if I didn’t figure something out, everything I had would be reduced to ash.
Gabe’s contemplative breath alerted me he was about to speak before he could even open his mouth. He glanced over at me and cocked a brow. “The last job went well, and the boss seemed impressed. What’s the plan with the Levov girl?”
