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We had something good once, and even if I had let my impulses get in the way, along with that desire to have her back in my life, I wanted to get back to that place. Not just for my security as well as hers, but so that I could feel complete again.
No woman had ever been capable of messing with my mind like Anastasia, and for what it was worth, I needed her to trust me again. To see in me what she had that night.
As everything wrapped up and we returned to the car as husband and wife, Anastasia looked miserable.
As much as I hoped she would find a silver lining in our new union, it didn't seem to be the case. Yet, I couldn't blame her. I couldn't expect romance when I kept her locked in my spare bedroom because of my selfish needs.
It became incredibly clear that Anastasia hadn't been in the wrong at all. As she said, I took her from her commitments and dragged her into a world she wanted nothing to do with. I decided that we needed to be married to save us both, and while that still held up, it wasn't difficult to understand why she'd hate me for it.
I had officially trapped the Levov princess, and I couldn't take it back.
If only she could've been granted a look into my mind after I walked away from her, maybe then she'd better understand why I was so desperate to get her back. Maybe then she'd hate me less for dragging her into my mess.
Despite her resistance and displeasure, I wanted to change that for no other reason than to make her happy.
I was certain she wouldn't believe me if I made that claim to her, but I meant it anyway.
Chapter 11 - Anastasia
It was done.
Regardless of how hard I fought him, and how desperately I wanted to keep my freedom, I gave in to him. I signed my life away all because I didn't have that fight left in me.
I was tired, and I just wanted to feel slightly normal again. Even if I was still stuck in that house, at least deciding where I went throughout the day would be a single thing I could control. It wasn’t the most ideal outcome, but it sure beat being locked away like some kind of animal at a zoo.
Sitting in the passenger seat of his car, I didn't even have the energy to utter a word. I was stuck in an endless loop of dread, left wondering what my life would look like.
My choices had been stripped from me, and I was married to a man I had lost all trust for.
That amazing, once-in-a-lifetime connection we had was soiled by Nik's determination to get what he wanted and to further the feud between my family and his boss.
I would be reduced to nothing but a mob wife, expected to give him kids and to shut up about the rest. I was to be complacent and sweet and to never question my husband's choices.
I was suddenly the very thing I never wanted to be, and there was nothing I could do about it.
Given my previous life choices, I wasn’t programmed to be that way. I had been granted the choice to experience everything the world had to offer, and even if he claimed my brothers would turn my autonomy off one day, they hadn’t. They gave me everything, and I always intended to take full advantage of it. Not because I demanded the world, but because they never wanted me to be stuck with any man against my will.
As much as he wanted to demonize them, Yaro and Vik never once forced me into anything against my will.
When we reached the house, Nik made the move to open my door for me, but I popped it open before he could and immediately went to the front door. Refusing to look at him, I didn't catch a glimpse of his expression until he reluctantly joined me and let us both inside.
He wore a new kind of defeat on his face, visibly just as miserable as I felt.
When he opened the door, I didn't say anything and simply went inside.
I half expected Nik to tell me to get back into the guest bedroom, but instead, he sighed and made his way to the fridge.
Curious, I lingered there and looked around the living room I had spent very little time in.
I heard the sound of ice dropping into a glass as he rummaged through several bottles until he found one that caught his attention. Then, he returned to the room and placed the glass on the coffee table before pouring his whiskey over ice.
After taking a sip, he leaned into the sofa and sighed.
As much as I wanted to disappear, my curiosity was getting the better of me.
I couldn't ignore the despair written on his face—something I wasn't expecting to see after he so clearly won.
Nik should’ve been gloating and celebrating because he managed to trap me, a Levov woman who refused to be forced into anything. At the very least, he should’ve been laying down the rules and what he expected of me. Yet, he made no acknowledgment. Instead, he settled himself in and focused on nothing in particular.
