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She nodded several times, looking torn due to the nature of things. “I’ll be fine, I promise.”
While Yaro didn’t object, he waited there as Anastasia hugged Vik next, who thanked her for letting them know everything.
Yaro’s comment had some venom in it, and there was no denying how it stung to hear it, but I understood. They didn’t trust me, and that was for good reason. Working for their active enemy didn’t put me in the ranks of the ideal husband in their eyes.
I remained seated as Anastasia said goodbye to her brothers, and they looked back at her one last time before they both returned to their vehicle. Before long, they drove off, leaving me to question what I had just done, and how I was possibly going to make things better between us.
Eventually, Anastasia quietly returned to her seat and looked down at her latte, which had surely gone cold by then. She didn’t say anything, and I could only imagine she was trying to digest everything that had just transpired, too.
Unable to speak, I stared at the metal frame of the table and considered what had just happened. I felt numb from the reality of it all and from Yaro’s serious warnings.
I was in deep trouble, and I couldn’t escape it as easily as I wanted. Even if the Levovs weren’t prepared to take action against me yet, there was no telling when they would, and just how extreme it would be. Regardless, I had no doubt they meant to keep their word if I didn’t disavow the Caprises.
Sneaking a glance at Anastasia, I knew her head was in a similar place as my own, but I didn’t want her to have to worry about any of it. After everything I already put her through, she didn’t need to shoulder that stress. She deserved better, and while I intended to do whatever was necessary to keep her in my life, I started to think that she deserved better than that, too.
Even if the prognosis seemed grim, Anastasia didn’t sell me out, and that had to count for something.
Chapter 19 - Anastasia
I knew I eventually had to say something, especially to fill the silence, but I couldn’t find the words. I didn’t have them in me.
Realizing what I had done was a lot to swallow, even if I knew I was saving a man’s life and giving him the chance to prove that he meant his commitment to me. That I had just saved face for Nik even though we didn’t truly know each other that well—not in the ways that were essential for a good marriage, anyway.
Sure, we had our time in Europe to bond and find ways to connect through conversations, but that was under a different pretense. As was Nik’s gripe with me, key information hadn’t been disclosed since we had both been under the impression it was supposed to be a hookup. A one-time thing.
And yet, everything had been turned on its head, and we were left to pick up the pieces and try and salvage what we could of the situation, despite the odds stacked against us.
The drive home was brutally quiet as we both struggled to come back from our meeting with Yaro and Vik. I couldn’t get my head out of it no matter how hard I tried.
I was so incredibly glad to see them and relieved to finally let them know I was alright. If they had asked when I was still stuck in that spare bedroom, they would’ve received a very different answer. But given that Nik was making attempts to fix things between us, I was more willing to give him the chance.
And yet, I didn’t like being caught in between them and Nik. It left me feeling like I’d be an awful person no matter what I chose, and it didn’t feel fair.
In a perfect world, I wouldn’t have to choose. I’d get to have both without the drama, but I knew that was only a fantasy in my head. Given that I was a Levov, chaos and uncertainty seemed to follow me regardless of my affiliations.
As difficult as it had been to lie to my brother, it helped Nik’s case that while I answered their questions and explained away the grittier details, I couldn’t help but think back to that night. The one we both seemed to hold close to our chests.
Even if Nik had shown me the not-so-savory side of him and the business he operated for, I knew that version of him I fell for was still in there. I didn’t think I’d ever fully forgive him for disrupting my life and taking away my ability to choose, but he was a redeemable man. I knew it.
As Catherine had told me, he went through all that effort to get me back for a reason. He wouldn’t have put his own life on the line for nothing.
Neither of us managed a word as we pulled into the driveway, and Nik killed the engine. We both got out and made our way inside.
Every step felt more tense than the previous one, but I tried to keep myself together as I went through the entryway and was met with the interior that started to feel more familiar as time went on.
Technically, it was my home too, and it would do me some good to get used to it despite how it still seemed foreign to me.
As much as I wanted to go upstairs and decompress on my own, I knew I couldn’t just leave everything up in the air. Nik was being incredibly quiet, and I needed to know his thoughts.
Leaning against the island countertop, I sighed. “That could’ve gone worse, I suppose.”
Nik didn’t comment, but he paused and wore a grave expression as he absently scrubbed his face.
Even if I couldn’t make the obvious decision for him, I already had my stance, and at that moment, I felt like the only person who could begin to convince him.
Regardless of our tumultuous start together, I didn’t want anything to happen to him, and I didn’t want us to be separated before we could truly find our stride again. Which meant I had to try and appeal to him.
“This probably isn’t what you want to hear, but please consider it. For both of us, you need to leave the Caprises. If you switch sides, I’m sure I can talk my family into granting you a position and security in the ranks,” I began, not needing to exaggerate my conviction and worry. “Even if it seems like a risky move, they will respect my choice so long as you promise to be loyal to them instead. If you do that, we won’t have to worry about you clashing with my family.”
