AllFreeNovel
Share Us
A scream slices through the howling wind like a knife to the gut.
Jessie.
25
JESSIE
It’s so cold. So damn cold.
I don’t know how I’m going to survive.
I’m going to die out here like Dad did.
Mom is going to be so disappointed in me.
I didn’t find the hikers. They’re probably dead because of me.
The darkness of the bivy sack surrounds me while the wind continues to howl outside. I’m zipped up completely, just hoping that the storm will come to an end soon.
With the amount of snow coming down, even seeing the bright orange bivy sack is going to be hopeless for rescuers. By the time I crawled into the sack, I couldn’t see more than a few inches in front of my face.
I never should have come out here.
Brookes is going to be so upset. I don’t know how he’s going to handle this.
I should have apologized to him before.
I shouldn’t have wasted time thinking about what others thought of us. I should have loved him while I had the chance.
If there’s one thing that’s become abundantly clear, it’s that I’m going to die out here.
There comes a certain peace with thinking that I’m going to die. The vise grip on my chest eases and my entire body stops shaking.
Hell, the bivy sack may as well be a coffin.
It’s a dark thought, but it’s the only one that’s brought a smile to my face all day.
I thought I could do this. I was sure I would be able to get through the wilderness training. This was supposed to be the training that got me the fellowship. It was going to give me an edge over all the other applicants.
My mom was finally going to see that I’m not a failure.
I was going to make up for killing my dad.
If I had just moved a little faster that day. If I had been able to navigate my way back to him in time. He might still be here today.
Dad would know what to do in this situation to make me feel better. He would tell me that everything was going to be alright. He would insist that I kept holding on instead of giving up.
There would be jokes to keep me laughing. He would ask questions about Brookes, teasing me relentlessly about being in love.
Thinking about my dad only spirals me toward all the things that he’s going to miss.
All the things that may not even happen for me now.
I always thought he would be the one to walk me down the aisle. He would give the best speech at my reception, embarrassing me and making me feel endlessly loved at the same time.
He was supposed to be there for the birth of my children. I’m still convinced that he would have made the best grandfather.
Dad was going to be the one I went to when my marriage felt rough. We were going to sit together drinking his favorite bourbon while talking about life.
