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Henry: I know I don’t need to worry about you but I can’t help it. Please ring me when you can and let me know you’re okay X
Libby: How was your first day with the Big Bad Wolf? Did you blow his house down? XXX
Eveline: I have complete faith that today will work out perfectly but you are still in my thoughts and prayers xxxx
Finn: Have you served James his balls on a plate yet?
Willow: How’s it going? What did he think of the slippers?????
Jack: My wife is calmly confident you’re absolutely fine, but Henry is fretting. So could you message him when you get a chance and get him off our backs? Ta x
Connor: Been thinking of you today and hope it went well. If Eveline’s right and James does fancy you, then it should make things easier? Big hugs xxx
Leo: Your favourite brother here. Henry says I need to be worried about you working with this James bloke. I told him not to get his knickers in a twist and you’d eat James for breakfast. Speaking of food, when are you next coming over for dinner? X
Estelle: I’m creating this group chat and entitling it ‘The Destruction of James Hunter-Savage’. Here are the headlines from today
I’m alive!
Unfortunately, so is JHS…
The slippers are GENIUS torture. James HATES them. I did star jumps and ran on the spot in front of him and he nearly popped a vein. I’m aiming for an aneurysm by Friday
Eveline, I’m sorry my darling, but you were WRONG about him liking me. Someone came by but JHS didn’t let us see them. Five mins later he comes back with lipstick on his cheek. Apparently, there’s a ‘beautiful blonde’ living with him and his folks
Leo, I’m too busy in the evenings making sure the stables are doing okay, but I’ll come over as soon as I can. It needs to be Sunday through Thursday though, and Dad has to make onion bhajis. I want to be able to fart at will the next day. Maybe I could gas JHS to death?
Love you all xxx
Eveline: I’m so glad your first day went well! However, the blonde lady might be his sister? And maybe you could think about changing the name of this group chat from ‘the destruction of James-Hunter Savage’ to ‘the befriending of James Hunter-Savage’? He seemed perfectly pleasant when I met him xxxx
Henry: Estelle, I’m so glad you’re okay. Eveline, you’re far too kind and forgiving. Trust me, that man doesn’t deserve it
Connor: How about the ‘ignoring’ of James Hunter-Savage?
Libby: The ‘mindful acceptance’ of JHS?
Estelle: Ugh. No way. I’m thinking of changing ‘destruction’ to ‘annihilation’
Leo: Is he really that bad you want to inflict Dad’s onion bhaji farts on him?
Henry: YES!
Estelle: YES!!!
Finn: How about ‘the boning of James Whatisface’?
Estelle: EXCUSE ME?
Finn: Well, the line between love and hate…
Estelle: Fuck off, Finley, then fuck off some more
Henry: Really not helping, Finn
Finn: LOL. Stelle and Savage, sitting in a tree…
Estelle: I’m going to kick you out of this group if you don’t shut up
