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‘You don’t have to eat it if you don’t want to,’ Arthur interrupted. ‘Although I do recommend you give it a go. Might help you and Libby in the old baby-making department?’
‘Arthur!’ Libby said sharply.
He raised his hands. ‘Sorry! Anyway, there’s rice, raita, poppadoms, naan and pickles as well, so help yourself.’
Beverley turned to her left, where Henry and Libby were seated. ‘Are you trying for a baby?’
‘Definitely not at the moment,’ Libby replied.
‘More’s the pity!’ Arthur called out. ‘I want grandchildren.’
‘Me too,’ Beverley said. ‘I don’t know if we’re ever going to get any.’
James stared at his mum, but her attention was on Arthur.
‘Jamesy-boy has never even had a girlfriend,’ she continued. ‘And S—’
‘Mum!’ James snapped. He felt everyone’s eyes on him like ants crawling over his skin.
‘Just like Henry until our Libby came along,’ Arthur said. ‘Well, James is a handsome chap, and my three gels are single, so—’
‘Dad!’ shouted all five Foxbrooke siblings.
On either side of Arthur, both Vivienne and Dervla placed a hand on his arm, as if telling him to be quiet.
Silence fell upon the table.
‘Well, I don’t know about the rest of you,’ Connor said, ‘but I’m starving and this smells delicious.’ He stood. ‘James, can I pass you anything?’
15
Estelle piled rice and curry on her plate, avoiding the tandoori bull’s testicles. Her stomach was in knots, but she was also starving from the day’s physical labour.
If she thought the day had been weird and stressful enough, she was still reeling from meeting James’s parents. Nothing about them made any sense. James had been to Eton, then Oxford. He was a posh nob who worked in the City and drove a Ferrari. She’d imagined his mother would be as upper class as Gram-Gram, the Foxbrooke family matriarch. However, the last time Estelle had seen Beverley Hunter-Savage, she’d been in a cleaning tabard and wiping down a bathroom. And James’s dad? Never in a million years would she have thought Kevin and James were related.
And why did his mum say James had never had a girlfriend before? Elyse bloody lived with them! Estelle took another mouthful of wine. The only way she was going to get through this evening was by being steaming drunk.
‘So, Kevin, you’re a self-made-man?’ Arthur asked James’s dad.
‘Call me Kev, mate. Kevin’s too formal.’
‘And you can call me Bev,’ Beverley added, reaching across and taking her husband’s hand. ‘We’re Kev ’n’ Bev.’
Kevin smiled at his wife. ‘Dream team, innit babe?’ He released her hand and turned to Arthur. ‘Yeah, that’s me. Self-made millionaire. Don’t be fooled by the rocks I’ve got. I’m still Kev from the block. If the block were Stepney. Know what I mean?’
Out of the corner of her eye, Estelle saw James’s knuckles getting whiter with every second as his hand clutched his fork.
‘I do indeed, Kev,’ Arthur replied. ‘I had all of this given to me on a plate. Didn’t have to do anything to get it other than be born with a penis. I admire a man like you. You not only had a penis but also enormous balls.’
To Estelle’s left, Kevin visibly inflated. To her right, James seemed to shrink.
‘On the money, Arthur. Bigger than a bull’s. Had to take a lot of risks to get where I am today.’
‘How did you start?’ Arthur asked. ‘And what line of business are you in?’
Estelle had a deep connection to her twin, and she sensed his energy across the table as he leaned forward slightly. This evening must have been even weirder for him, having known James since he was thirteen, but having had no idea who his parents were.
Kevin puffed out his cheeks. ‘Bit of this, bit of that. Started out as a market trader when I was fourteen, buying and selling. Looking for the trends and jumping on ’em. Remember tamagotchis? Loom bands? I flogged them faster than shit off a shovel. Then I went to China, made some good contacts, and got into rebranded luxury goods.’
