AllFreeNovel
Share Us
‘Well, I think it’s a capital name,’ Arthur said. ‘And this logo is simply marvellous.’
‘That was all me,’ Kevin said proudly. ‘I’m good at branding. I even rebranded our family.’
‘You did?’ Arthur asked. ‘How?’
‘We were Kev and Bev Skinner until little Kev was seven. Then I made a mint and decided to upgrade us to Hunter-Savage.’
‘Dad…’ James said, his voice low and threatening.
‘The Royal Family changed their surname from Saxe-Coburg-Gotha to Windsor during the First World War, so I thought to myself, if it’s good enough for them, Kev me old mucker, then it’s good enough for us. Skinner became Hunter-Savage, Kevin became Lord James and Char—’
‘Dad! Shut the fuck up!’ James shouted.
The table fell silent.
Holy shit. So James had been born Kevin. He hadn’t lied. Estelle’s brain was buzzing.
‘Lord James?’ Arthur asked, vocalising the question on Estelle’s mind.
Kevin laughed. ‘Yeah. Thought it would be funny. Lord James Hunter-Savage.’
There was a stunned silence, then Arthur started laughing. ‘Love it!’ he wheezed. ‘I need to tell my older sister to change her name to “The Duke of Somerset”. It’s what she’s always wanted.’
‘But Jamesy-boy won’t use it,’ Kev continued. ‘What a waste.’
Estelle could feel the anger radiating off James. She thought she knew who he was, but in the space of half an hour, every origin story she’d created had been ripped to shreds.
When Arthur’s laughs petered out, the table once more lapsed into silence.
‘How are you enjoying your meal?’ Dervla asked Beverley.
‘It’s lovely, thanks, babe,’ Bev replied. ‘I was going to ask, how do you keep a place this size clean?’
‘We don’t,’ Dervla said. ‘It’s impossible. We leave Bridget, our housekeeper, in charge of all that. Life’s too short to be cleaning anything.’
Beverley frowned, as if she’d just been told the Earth was actually flat.
‘There’s a permanent cleaning staff of three,’ Estelle said. ‘And we draft in more when there’s an event on.’
‘Like the festival,’ Bev replied.
Estelle managed to nod, as another silence fell over the rest of the table.
‘So, Kev and Bev,’ Arthur began. ‘Let’s put our heads together and see what we can come up with to save the festival.’
‘Yeah, mate,’ Kevin said. ‘We need to take charge.’
‘Unfortunately, I’ve had countless run-ins with the local council,’ Arthur continued, ‘and am not their favourite person.’
‘That’s because you always get permission for one thing, then do another,’ Estelle said.
Arthur waved his hand dismissively. ‘They’re just a bunch of pen-pushing jobsworths.’
Kevin leaned forward, a piece of naan bread in his hand. ‘I know the type, Arthur. We should just bribe ’em.’
There was a clatter as James’s fork fell to his plate. Face tight with fury, he turned to his father. ‘Dad!’
Kevin shrugged and held his hands up as if his suggestion were the most logical one.
