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Maybe I was unhinged. That was the only explanation for how I’d gone from trying to get away from Theo to wanting to pull down his trousers and literally wrap myself around him.
This was why you didn’t fuck where you worked.
It was especially bad for me. I liked sex. I wasn’t shy about sex. In general, I had a relatively high sex drive, which made things rough when the only option I had was toys.
It also meant that now Theo was there, ready and willing, all I could think about at this very moment was sex.
Specifically, sex with him.
My boss.
Like a shameless, thirsty woman.
I really did have no idea I could be so needy. For all the things I said about Theo being needy, I was just as bad—and really, I didn’t mind it. I didn’t mind that he coerced me into spending the night in his room to sleep together. I didn’t mind that I’d fallen asleep in his arms and woken up to him bringing me coffee.
I didn’t mind that, after we’d both showered this morning, he’d touched me at every opportunity. A brush of his hand over my shoulders, a touch of his fingertips against my back, that kind of thing that was so casual but still made me shiver. I didn’t even mind that he’d pouted at me until I’d agreed to do his tie for him, and that was usually my number one complaint.
I’d said to him last night that he was like a puppy, and while that wasn’t entirely wrong, it wasn’t entirely right, either.
Theodore Black was a cinnamon roll.
Sweet. Soft. Caring. He’d even driven us to the town centre so we could go into the office and see how things were going. More than that, he’d detoured us into a café to order coffee on our way there because he knew I was still tired.
It was his fault I was tired, but still.
If you’d asked me a month ago if he was a cinnamon roll kind of guy, I’d have laughed in your face. Yet here I was. Confronted with the reality that the man I’d always thought was an uptight, stoic, cold person was actually a big ol’ ball of warm fluff.
I had yet to put the two sides of him together in my brain.
Right now, there was London Theo and Buckley Heath Theo.
Would this version of him disappear when we returned home? What did we do about the change in our relationship when we were done here?
We were already halfway through our trip. I doubted either of us could go back to how we were before we slept together, but that only happened in the first place because we were living together and on this trip. There’s no way we ever would have crossed this line if we were in the office, and I knew that perfectly well.
When we returned to London, our living arrangements would go back to normal. The only time we would see each other would be in the office.
And, after all, Theo was averse to an office romance.
Not that this was some great love story. No—this was a sexual relationship that had started purely because the opportunity had presented itself.
It was all it could be.
It didn’t matter that my resignation was on the horizon.
There was absolutely no way I could burden him with the knowledge that my feelings were changing.
That rampant loathing I’d once felt for him had melted away into nothing. The things that used to piss me off on a daily basis were now annoyingly endearing. Seeing his face no longer made me want to beat it with a box file.
Now, it made my traitorous little heart flutter.
I really didn’t want to delve too deeply into these changing feelings. Honestly, it seemed like a recipe for disaster, and while I knew that there was no real meaning to the phase out of sight, out of mind, I could almost gaslight myself into thinking these feelings for him didn’t exist if I didn’t focus on them.
I mean, that plan had worked splendidly until yesterday.
I’d straight up lied to myself just yesterday morning that I felt nothing for the man.
Which was why I was hiding in the staff room right now.
