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I didn’t trust myself to be locked in an office with Theo and not make a catastrophic mistake. Also, I was determined not to cross the line of doing anything during working hours like this, and given how touchy-feely he’d been all morning, I couldn’t guarantee he’d toe the same line.
I really needed to talk this out, but if I texted Heidi right now, I was going to get a big fat dose of ‘I told you so.’
Harriet wouldn’t be much better, and Icertainlywasn’t about to tell Harvey I’d fucked his best friend.
I really would never hear the end of that.
Hmm. Maybe I did need to go back to London for Aunt Fizz’s birthday party next weekend. A little bit of separation between me and Theo wouldn’t hurt right now, even if it was only for a weekend so I could sort out my thoughts.
But until then…
Ugh, I was going to have to suck it up.
ME: I fucked up.
Translation: I slept with my boss so ridicule me later.
HEIDI: Oh my God. You actually fucked your boss.
This was exactly why she was my best friend.
ME: You were the one who insisted he had a crush on me.
HEIDI: I was only half-kidding. I expected you to have more self-control than that.
Yeah. She could join the club.
ME: So did I. But you haven’t seen his penis.
HEIDI: …Is it as nice as his face? In fact, you know what, you don’t even need a nice face to have a nice cock. That’s what doggy style was invented for.
ME: It would be a shame to miss out on that face while being fucked by him.
HEIDI: OH MY GOD, CHLOE ST. JAMES!!!!!
HEIDI: WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY BEST FRIEND???
HEIDI: ALSO HOW DID THIS HAPPEN????
ME: It was an accident.
HEIDI: Unless God himself intervened so that you just happened to literally fall and be impaled by his erect penis, I doubt that very much.
I took a deep breath and typed out the whole story from beginning to end.
Well, not the whole story. She didn’t need to know every little detail about the sex, despite what she would inevitably insist upon.
HEIDI: Wow. You’re a real pervert, aren’t you?
Why was everyone calling me a pervert?
All right, so I’d absolutely peeped on him in the shower, but I hadn’t meant to.
HEIDI: And why didn’t you tell me about this when it happened?
ME: I was busy. And I was too busy thinking about my boss having a wank rather than telling you all about it.
HEIDI: I knew something would happen when you told me you had to live together. Didn’t think it’d happen this quickly.
