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I wanted my son back.
I wanted my family whole.
As my father’s angry voice came into the living room, I brushed away stray tears from my cheeks but didn’t face him and my mother.
“Did you know about this?” he demanded angrily. I merely shrugged. How unladylike of me. I didn’t have a clue what he was talking about. “Genevieve!”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I said quietly.
“The Sheriff reinstated Killian Byrne into the department,” Dad snapped. I frowned. Why did he always refer to him by his full name? How many Killians were wandering Cedar Harbor?
“Good for him,” I whispered. I meant that. Killian had always been very good at his job, even if being a police officer wasn’t exciting in our town. And he’d enjoyed it, which was important.
“It’s unacceptable! That’s what it is!” he raged. I drew in a deep breath, sighing in frustration. “What is George thinking? That man doesn’t belong anywhere near a badge and gun. The people can’t trust him.”
“Yes, they can.”
“No, they can’t. After what he did to you—”
“He didn’t do anything to me,” I interrupted.
“Genevieve—”
“He never hurt me,” I continued over him. As my father opened his mouth to say more, I added, “Not unless I wanted him to.”
Oh, well… there was that.
I glanced at my father. My words hadn’t quite registered, so I gave the storm time. Because once he figured it out, he’d be upset. But I didn’t care. I was too numb.
“What do you mean by unless you wanted him to?” my father asked.
“I enjoyed it. I wanted him to choke me. I asked him to do it.” There had to be something wrong with me that I was telling him this.
I just couldn’t bring myself to care.
I could hear him yelling, but I ignored him. All I could think of was a little boy who could’ve had wild curls like me and big blue eyes like his dad. A happy, sweet little boy who never would’ve been yelled at. Who never would’ve been treated the way I was because he never deserved it.
I never deserved it
He would’ve been unconditionally loved and protected.
Like I should’ve been.
Like I’d never been.
I stared at my father, watching the facade I’d made for him over decades fracture and break away. I stared at an ugly man with lies and anger in his heart. A mean man who didn’t know what real love was.
How had I been so stupid to think he loved me?
He never had. He never would.
So what was I clinging to so tightly?
Chapter 76
Killian
By the time Mom and I got back to her house in Cedar Harbor, the puppy squad had been fully activated. Even Raven and Cade were there. But they also had Die Hard queued up for a movie night, which was hard to be mad at. Maybe it was a little early for a Christmas movie, but I didn’t give a fuck. I changed into sweatpants and a sweatshirt, burying myself in the hood, before flopping on the couch. Finn made snacks—while clothed thankfully—Lucas pulled out every fucking blanket Mom had and then some, Sam found enough pillows for a small army, and Nolan showed up with a fuck ton of extras.
