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Silence befell the house as we stood there together yet miles apart.
Ben cleared his throat. “You remembered everything, didn’t you?”
I met his gaze. “Yes.”
29
Kruger
Moment of truth.
I knew it would come. I knew it would suck. But like everything else when it came to this woman, my imagination never fathomed just how much more it would be.
Suck was the understatement of the year for the way she was looking at me. For the distance swelling between us. When Max texted, I thought maybe she fell. Or had another nightmare.
But then I saw her. The moment I looked into her eyes, I knew my time was up. Any hope I had she wouldn’t be mad spit in my face and made me feel like the moron everyone liked to tease I was.
“Max shouldn’t have texted you,” she said, voice tight.
“I’m glad he did.”
“I don’t want to talk to you.”
“Just listen, then.”
Her eyes flashed. “Listen to you lie more?”
“I didn’t—”
A bitter laugh cut me off. “Don’t even bother denying it, Ben.”
“I’m not,” I snapped, voice sharp.
She stiffened, and I cursed, scrubbing a palm down my face and heaving a sigh. She had every right to feel betrayed. I couldn’t be mad at her for reacting to something I did.
Keeping my voice calm, I tried again. “I’m not denying it. I did lie. What I was trying to say is that I didn’t mean for the lie to become so big.”
She scoffed. “Because lying about us being engaged is such a small thing.”
“It was a means to an end.” I defended, realizing only after I said the words how terrible they sounded. I’m just fucking all this up.
Her laugh was hollow. The pain it carried echoed around inside me and knocked on my heart. I don’t know why it bothered knocking… It was already inside.
“The truth isn’t helping you,” she said.
Unable to stand back, I closed the distance between us, swiftly grasping her arm with a gentle tug. “Would you please just listen?”
She gazed down at where I held her, but I refused to let go. My fingers were icy. It was probably uncomfortable against her warm, supple skin, but I couldn’t pull away. I had to touch her just then.
Whispering, she said, “That’s all I’ve been doing, listening to you lie.”
Solemn brown eyes lifted, their sorrow the sharpest sword right through my heart. A million micro expressions flitted through her eyes and shone in every facet of her face. But I couldn’t read them, not anymore. And it was then that I realized she’d always been on guard. Something I hadn’t recognized because it had always been there.
Until she lost her memory.
Until she forgot why she couldn’t be so open.
I wanted to shake her. I wanted to scream. Why? What have you been hiding? What is it you guard? You don’t need it with me. Never with me.
