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His parents were here. Walked right in all smiles and well-dressed with an air of superiority like they had every right to be there.
They did.
And here I was, woefully underdressed and unprepared. They walked right by me on their way to the stands without so much as a flicker of recognition, and it made me feel invisible. But I belonged here too. And not because Ben said so. Because this was my school, a university I earned my way into with talent and hard work. I was a lifeguard at this pool, for Elite, and while I might not be working today, I was still here in “uniform” to support my fellow lifeguards and keep a watchful eye on the swimmers. And maybe give a little extra eye attention to Ben.
Technically, I was off duty. I could stare.
I spent all night folded into Ben’s embrace, his body heat more of a blanket than anything else on the bed. When my eyes blinked open, he was the first person I saw, his sleepy voice the first thing I heard. I love you.
I hated the doubt creeping in slowly, trying to muffle everything else. I’d have to fight that too, just like I fought for everything else. I was tired of fighting, clawing my way through life. I didn’t have to fight for Ben, but old habits were hard to break. I didn’t doubt his heart or even his love, but I doubted my ability to hold on to it.
“Hey, roomie, I brought you a coffee.”
My attention snapped up to Win who was standing right beside me, a big grin stretching his face, aviators stuffed in the neckline of his shirt, and a paper cup in each hand.
Glancing between him and what he held, I said, “That’s for me?”
He nodded. “This one,” he said and held out one of the cups. “It’s a latte. Not caramel, though. Those are for trauma.”
“Right.”
“Figured you could use it since you have to sit around in a swimsuit for like four hours.”
To be fair, I was wearing a windbreaker over the suit, but they weren’t really made for warmth.
“That was really nice of you, Win,” I said, suddenly a little emotional at the unexpected gesture. I took the cup, wishing I could wrap both hands around it but needing one to brace myself on the crutch I was using. “Thank you.”
He shrugged like it was no big deal. Maybe to him, it wasn’t. But to a girl who was quite literally standing here feeling invisible, being seen meant so much. “No big deal. I was getting one for Lars. Meet tradition, you know,” he said, holding up the remaining cup.
“Smile!” Rory called, appearing with a camera poised in front of her face.
Win shifted closer, and we both smiled while she snapped a photo.
After a quick glance at the screen, she smiled. “Perfect.”
“I better get this to my angel,” Win told us, heading toward the locker room. “Can’t have him getting cranky.”
Rory took his place beside me. The strap of her camera was covered in Elite buttons, each one of them boasting the name of all our favorite swimmers. She had two buttons for Ryan, one on each side of her neck.
“What’s it like living in a house filled with boys?” she asked.
“Noisy,” I griped, then glanced at the coffee in my hand. “But I kinda like it.”
“They’re good guys,” Rory said. “But don’t tell them I said that. They all have egos the size of Mount Everest.”
I laughed and sipped the latte. It was vanilla.
“I haven’t had a lot of friends in my life,” I said, the vulnerability just spilling right out as though the arrival of Ben’s parents, the sweet gesture from Win, and my own self-doubt loosened my tongue.
Rory laid her hand on my arm and smiled. “Now you do.”
“Girls pic!” Madison exclaimed, stepping up to my other side.
Rory laughed and held out her camera, the three of us smiling.
“I have no idea where to look,” I said, the digital camera nothing like a cell phone.
“Me either.” Madison laughed.
