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“Nope. But I’m starving, and I know you eat at six-thirty on the dot every day, so here I am.” He grins as if he’s proud of himself.
I chuckle at his antics. This isn’t the first time he’s used his emergency key to come over for dinner unannounced. It would be annoying if I didn’t secretly love having the company. I pretend as if it drives me crazy because I know that’s the reason he does it. He loves pestering me as often as possible.
I’m only a couple of years older than Nolan, and he was my best friend growing up. We’re still as close now as we’ve always been, but after Nolan went to college, his social circle grew much larger than when we were kids. That’s just Nolan, though. He’s never met a stranger. Within a few minutes of being anywhere, he’ll run into someone he knows.
“Well, come grab some plates, then. It’s just about done.” I pull the garlic bread out of the oven while Nolan grabs plates and silverware. We dish out our food and sit at the breakfast bar to eat.
Our forks clink on our plates as we eat in silence for a few minutes.
“This is fantastic, as usual,” Nolan says, breaking the quiet.
“Thanks. Things going okay with you?” For the most part, Nolan just likes to crash my dinners when he’s tired of eating bar food and takeout. Every now and then, though, he comes over because he needs to talk something out with me. Depending on his answer to my question, I’ll know which way he’s leaning tonight.
“I can’t complain. The bar is practically running itself at this point. If I could keep a steady bartender, that would be great, but turnover is expected around here.”
I guess he was just tired of takeout this time. “Training new people all the time would get exhausting.”
“It’s not so bad. I just wish they’d stick around a little longer. How’s your week been?”
“Pretty good.” I pause. Do I tell him about Sam? I don’t have anyone else to talk to about him. “I had drinks with Sam on Wednesday.”
Nolan’s head whips up, his eyes widening in surprise. “Way to bury the lede, asshole!”
I laugh. “It wasn’t a big deal.”
“That’s a straight-up lie. I can see it on your face. It was a huge deal, and you’re freaking out, aren’t you?”
Swallowing my bite of pasta, I try to get my thoughts in order. “A little. We’ve been texting since we got drinks.”
“And?”
I frown. “And what?”
“What’s going to happen next? Are you going to go out again? Do you like him?” Exasperation leaks from his voice.
“I don’t know. I don’t know. And of course, I like him. I wouldn’t be freaking out if I didn’t!”
Nolan’s heightened state makes panic unfurl in my chest.
“Okay, let’s both take a breath. Sorry, I got a little excited there.”
I follow Nolan’s lead and inhale a lungful of air. We both exhale, and he turns his body toward me. “Now that we’re both centered, let’s talk this through.”
I raise an eyebrow. “What’s with the yogi mentality? Not that I’m complaining. This is probably a good thing.”
Nolan rolls his eyes. “I’ve been taking yoga classes. No big deal. Let’s get back to the point. You and Sam have been texting since you went to get drinks. Have you been flirting?”
“I… think so?”
“You think so? How do you not know?”
I cringe. “I don’t know! All the guys I’ve dated before have been very straight to the point. They asked me out, we dated, we broke up. That was it.”
“That’s so sad. You deserve a fuck-ton more than that, brother.”
My shoulders slump. I do have a habit of dating assholes. They always come across as knowing what they want and going for it. That trait is attractive to me. I never have the confidence to go for the things I want without some form of lead-up. Dating someone who does makes me feel like I might learn how to from them.
But as I get to know those guys better, they turn into controlling jerks who only want me because they thought I’d let them steamroll me. What’s worse is I did. I always tried to change who I was to fit what they wanted. I thought maybe if I was better, different, someone else, those guys would love me more.
