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There’s no doubt in my mind that he holds affection for me, but is that affection the cause of such anguish? Such torment?
Even our Shadows tenderly brush against one another, old friends, or perhaps lovers. Time and memory. Must we be apart?
I wish I could return his sentiment—how bruising and aching his heart is for me.
I’m pulled from the thoughts as my orgasm reaches the climax. My hands fist his hair and he lets out a low groan, moving his hips faster and harder until I’m unraveling completely beneath him. He sits back swiftly and wraps his hand around his cock, jerking it to finish himself off. I lie on his bed and stare at his ceiling, letting myself get lost in my thoughts again.
He feels so good and right.
So familiar, yet still unknown.
Arthur grunts as his come shoots over my stomach. I smile as he collapses beside me on the bed, his raven hair falling over his forehead, a strand over his nose, partly hiding one of his eyes as he looks at me. He’s not smiling.
We stare into each other's eyes with sullen expressions.
“That was the saddest, best sex I’ve ever had.” I finally break the silence and he cracks a grin. I return it with a soft smile, pulling his face close and pressing a kiss to his swollen lips.
“I’m sorry, little shadow. I think too much,” he says on a breathy whisper.
“That’s broad—what could you have possibly been thinking about—” I remember Za’Afiel and all the children there who were dealt with. That was only a few days ago. Shit. How could I forget?
Arthur quirks a brow at my sudden silence so I shake my head.
“Never mind. We all have our secrets, don’t we?” I caress his cheek and he does the same, brushing a strand of hair from my face and letting his hand rest on my jaw and neck.
Arthur’s smile fades as he says, “No secrets are as terrible as the ones we cannot speak.”
32
Terra
Istare dully out the arched stone windows as snow falls in clumps from the tall pines. The weather has finally been warming. It’s beautiful, yet feels out of place in this castle of death—of rot. Birds have begun to chirp again, and the scent of wet moss and pine is heavy in the air.
Classes have slowly become more and more quiet. The students’ eyes have mostly grayed. Only a few people, including myself, have held on to our hearts.
Raine slumps over his desk, napping. I watch him take long, slow breaths and pray to all the gods that he is dreaming of better things than Alkrose. He deserves so much more than this world has provided him. I wish I never met him. He’d live a long life if it weren’t for me.
Kallos wraps up the afternoon lecture and draws my attention back to the present.
“There will be no class for the remainder of the week in preparation for the exam. The headmaster will address the agenda in the mess hall tonight, so be sure you don’t skip dinner.” Kallos’s eyes linger over me and then flick to Raine.
Kai stands up and stretches as the other students leave. Finn turns in his seat, looking glum.
“I wonder what the Blood Crowns exam will entail,” Kai says halfheartedly. His white hair is mussed this morning, evidence of his carelessness.
Though we don’t necessarily know the nature of the exam, I know that it will be brutal. The Blood Crowns… I’m certain it will be as sinister as the name suggests.
Finn shrugs. “My guess is something with crowns.” He shoots me a sarcastic grin and I shove his shoulder. Finn sobers and says more seriously, “As long as we stick together, though, we’ll pull through.”
Raine lifts his head and looks at me. I can hardly stand the sight of his diminished appearance. The blight is working its way into his soul. His pale skin and sunken eyes are enough to shatter a heart. He’s still as beautiful as the day I met him though.
“I can handle the gory stuff since you guys are pussies. I’ve got nothing to lose,” Raine says with a lift of his lips.
We share a dark silence and try to ignore the truth of his morbid humor.
The hallways are devoid of chatter. There’s only the sound of feet shuffling across the tiles, making quick work to get to their next classes.
The four of us share Shadow riding, my favorite class. I’m glad the air is crisp and warm today. We exit the front doors and meet the fresh spring air. Kai nods at the Darkfly soldiers standing on either side of the doors while the rest of us ignore them as usual.
