AllFreeNovel
Share Us
She nods and knits her brows. “We weren’t able to bring the others back… Elias wouldn’t let us return for their bodies.”
I stare at the floor and nod absently. It makes sense that they couldn’t, and from what I recall happening to them, there isn’t anything worth returning for.
Rowan’s fearful eyes swim in my memories and I clench my teeth. Without flesh to muffle it, the bone-clacking sound is chilling.
“It’s my fault they’re dead.” The guilt burns inside my chest, so painful and hot. It churns like a knife. Sully seems to thrive in the madness inside me.
Terra frowns, looking as if she’s contemplating something. She grabs my hand softly. “Elias didn’t want me to tell you this… but you can turn it off, Edgar.”
I stare at her dully, raising my brow just a bit.
“You can turn off your pain, the emotions that are eating away at you… It’s what I had to do to survive for a while. You can too, should you need it.” She presses a kiss on what’s left of my cheek and walks toward the door. “The second exam is in a few days. I think they expect you to participate in some way, but if I don’t see you before it starts—good luck.”
“Thanks, Terra. You too,” I say grimly, only thinking of what she said.
Corvus stops by early the next morning. I couldn’t sleep at all. Each time I closed my eyes, I was visited by my deceased friends, begging me to save them and bring them back. I woke in a cold sweat.
Corvus can’t bring himself to look at me. He’s the first person to treat me like a monster. He stands sideways, looking at the foot of my bed rather than anywhere in my general direction.
The act wounds my already defeated heart. I actually considered him a friend.
He only came to say one thing to me—something that carves a gaping hole in my soul. “You were supposed to protect them. I never would have agreed if I knew you couldn’t,” Corvus says, the words empty of emotion. I think it would hurt less if he was angry, but he says it just to salt my wounds. And then he leaves.
And it festers.
My bones wrench and twist as I fist my hand tightly on my lap.
I thought I could.
45
Elias
Terra’s been quiet since we brought Edgar back.
It bothers me, like a needle pressing into your skin over and over. I want to know what’s ailing her and causing her so much pain. Her brother, obviously, has gone off the deep end. But I think it’s more than that. I think she’s hurting from the loss of humanity she feels in the world around her.
I thread my fingers through her soft brown hair and she gives me a dull look in her standing mirror.
“What’s going on inside here?” I tap the side of her head and she sullens, pulling away. It’s been a few days since we brought Edgar back to Alkrose and she’s still like a walking corpse. The second exam is closing in and all the other students have been focused on training for the Blood Crowns exam. I take a long breath and sigh. “You know, you could just?—”
“I’m not turning off my emotions again,” she snaps, crossing her arms and sitting on the edge of her bed.
I raise a brow and sit next to her. “And why is that?”
She glowers at me and I laugh.
“If you want to suffer, then suffer,” I say with a shrug. Terra studies my features for a moment. She’s the only person I’ve ever let get this close to me before, and I can’t say I don’t admire the way she takes me in like I’m so amusing. There’s a distinctive trust in her eyes that makes me feel cold-hearted.
“How many times have you turned off your emotions completely?” she asks meekly.
I glance down at the floor. It’s not something I need to even think about because I know the answer. “Only once.”
Terra perks up and she leans closer to me. “Really?”
I nod. “I can understand why you don’t want to turn it off again. It’s hard to come back to your own mind after being numb to it all, isn’t it?” A forlorn smile spreads across my lips. Her hand reaches up and smooths across my chin. The feeling warms my chest.
“I wasn’t going to say anything, but after talking to Arthur, I think it’s okay. I’ve been helping Raine find a cure for his blight,” she admits. Terra’s gaze grows distant but she shakes her intrusive thoughts. “I’m going to speak with Kallos. He knows how to get rid of it.”
