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“I’ll let them out after dinner for some yard time, but I figured you’d want to eat first.”
“Okay, I’ll forgive puppy jailing since you’re being logical about it.”
Her hand was warm in mine as I helped her up, and she didn’t let go as I led her into the kitchen. I deliberately avoided looking at her so I didn’t trip on the way, though it was difficult to do since all of my senses were honed in on her.
“Do you want help with dinner?” she asked. “I peel a mean vegetable.”
I snorted. “Sure. You can be my sous chef.”
“Roger that.” She beamed at me. “Give me a task, and I’ll make you proud.”
That only reminded me of how eager she was for praise. She’d drunk up those words of affirmation during her heat, but it was dangerous for me to think about that when I was about to have a knife in my hand.
I shook my head with a laugh. “I’ll let you wash the potatoes to start.”
I dug a handful of them out of the pantry and set them in the sink for her to wash.
“How long have you been out of the nest?” I asked.
“Bit over a year now. I moved into a new apartment a few blocks from here last week.”
“Ah, that explains it,” I said. “I was wondering why I hadn’t seen you at the store before now.”
“Maybe I’m a ninja,” she said, sticking her tongue out. “I still need to do a big shop. I’ve been grabbing frozen dinners while I get settled, so I am very excited for a real, home-cooked meal.”
That statement soothed my alpha instincts, the need to provide and care for her. “Well, hopefully I don’t disappoint.”
“I’m pretty sure that’s not possible.” She hip-checked me and held up a potato. “Give me something sharp to slice these bad boys.”
I passed her the chef knife from my knife block and fished a cutting board out from the lower cupboard. “You can cut them into chunks. I figured grilled potatoes go pretty great with steak.”
“Goddamn, I’m going to have to marry you.” She laughed. “Cake and steak? You’re spoiling me so much tonight, and I didn’t even do anything to deserve it.”
I should definitely not be taking those words seriously. It was ludicrous to even contemplate taking I’m going to have to marry you as a remotely earnest statement. There wasn’t time to psychoanalyze my thoughts about it so instead I forced out a laugh and dropped my arm over her shoulders.
“Being cute as fuck is more than enough to deserve a nice dinner.”
She was so warm. Touching her was a mistake. Desire thrummed through me, and I took a deliberate step away, turning to the fridge to pull out the steaks I had marinating as an excuse to not look at her. When I turned back, she was focused on chopping the potatoes. Her shoulders were slightly drooped and guilt swelled in my chest. I shouldn’t be weird with her. It was my own fault that I couldn’t stop thinking about her.
Tonight was my one chance and I couldn’t let my own mixed-up feelings about everything get in our way. Obviously she liked me enough to ask to see me, and she had continued to ask for me for her heats over the years, so I knew something was there to build on. It didn’t make this any less nerve-racking. If I fucked up tonight, would I just be haunted by her for the rest of my life?
Some questions were better left unanswered.
I chopped up the potatoes, making sure they were all even. He seemed uncomfortable and I couldn’t quite figure out why. All I really knew was that every cell in my body was singing now that I was with him again. I wasn’t sure what to make of that, so I decided instead to enjoy it.
“We can cook on the grill,” he said eventually, “but if we’re letting the puppies run outside, I’ll need you to keep an eye on them while I cook.”
“Ooh. I approve of freeing puppies from jail.” I smiled, hoping it would put him at ease, looking up from cutting the final potato.
It was nice cooking with him. The last time we had been together, I hadn’t had to lift a finger, but there was something satisfying about making a meal together.
He spiced the potatoes, wrapped them in foil, and set them outside on the barbecue. While the grill warmed up, we outfitted the pups in tiny harnesses and took them into the backyard, where they were allowed to roam free.
I gave him a bit of space and focused on the puppies, following the smallest and shyest of the litter around to encourage him to explore. The other puppies galloped along, tackling one another and rolling in the grass. The whole time Sidney’s gaze followed me. Maybe it had been too long. Maybe it was purely wishful thinking on my part and he hadn’t really wanted to get together today. I had spent four years keeping that man on a pedestal. It was silly to think he might’ve done the same for me.
Even with the discomfort, there was something in his eyes I couldn’t shake. He had looked at me like he had seen a ghost and his scent had spiked.
“Dinner’s ready,” he called. I sat next to him at the patio table, the both of us keeping an eye on the exploring puppies.
