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“Meghan won’t get out of bed. She isn’t looking after the twins, and Ruby’s come here to take me home. To face my mess and sort it out. I’ll be leaving later today.”
“So,” I mutter, wiping my cheeks, “you fucked up, but that doesn’t mean we can’t work. You’ve left that life. We can start over and carry on just like we were.” It comes out desperate, and I hate myself for it, but I can’t let him go. Not like this.
“You don’t get it. Cain died, Raven. He fucking died because of what I did.” He pauses to let the news sink in. “And now, I have to go back and sort out my mess.”
I shake my head, grabbing his arm. “No, you don’t. It’s done. Stay here and start again.”
“I thought you wanted me to face up to it. Isn’t that why you told Ruby where I was?”
“I didn’t know the truth then,” I cry.
“No, you didn’t, and you interfered anyway.”
“Then I’ll come.” I grab his arm, kneeling on the edge of the bed.
He shakes his head, pulling away. “You’ve done enough.”
“You’ll need someone on your side. I can help.”
“Right now, I don’t want you near me.” I flinch at his words. “I was happy, Raven. For the first time in years, I was happy. Now, that’s all gone.”
“I’m sorry,” I cry. “I’m so sorry. Please, don’t just leave. We can be happy.” I hate that I’m begging, but this hurts so much more than it did with Vinn.
“Fuck, Raven. I’ve just told you I cheated on my ol’ lady of eighteen years with my brother’s wife. His fucking wife! And you’re here begging me to stay with you. My brother died because of me. He died! And you’re willing to still be with me.”
“It happened before us. We can move forward from this. Everyone deserves a second chance.”
“I don’t. I thought I did. I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with you. I wanted to help because I wanted to be better. I thought by helping you, it would somehow make up for all the shit I’d done, but it doesn’t. It comes back to bite harder. Now, I have to walk away from you and finish what I started back home.”
“Love?” I repeat. “You fell in love with me?”
“It doesn’t matter. I don’t deserve to be happy.”
“That’s why you’d never come? Because you think you don’t deserve pleasure or happiness? How long will you punish yourself?”
He sighs, rubbing his brow. “Do you know how Cain found out? He walked in on us. I was in his bed with his wife. Fucking her so hard, she was screaming my name. He ran out of there without a word, got on his bike, and hit a forty-four-tonne lorry at fifty miles an hour. He was dead on impact. That should have been me. I should be dead, and he should be here with a wonderful woman like you. I’ll never stop punishing myself. The coroner put accidental death on his death certificate, but he said he couldn’t actually rule out that Cain didn’t drive at that lorry on purpose. How do I forgive myself for that?”
“So, what’s your plan? Go back to Nottingham, drag Meghan out of bed, and force her to look after her kids?”
The bedroom door opens, and Ruby enters. “Shouldn’t you make a move on packing or something?” she asks, glaring at Mac. She rakes her eyes over me. “He told you then?”
“Give us a minute,” snaps Mac.
“We need to hit the road.”
I wipe my eyes and wrap the sheet tighter around myself. “Let me come with you, Mac.”
Ruby scoffs, rolling her eyes. “I’ve done you a favour. See this as a lucky escape.”
“Everyone makes mistakes,” I mutter.
“Just leave us, Ruby!” Mac demands.
“Christ, you’re one of those women who take cheaters back time and time again, aren’t you? Or do you think you’ll be the one to change him? I’m not judging cos I was like you once. This piece of crap cheated on me so many times, I just got used to it. How many of my friends did you sleep with?” she asks, glaring at Mac. “Three, maybe four, and that’s only the ones I knew about.”
“Ruby, please,” he mutters.
“But this time, he really did good. His own brother’s wife. He’ll always need that rush, that thrill of the chase. He’ll never settle down.”
