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RAVEN
The women are fussing and it’s driving me nuts. I’m sad, heartbroken even, but all the fussing is making me worse. I had to escape to the office for a few hours just to breathe. It’s Sunday, and Vinn isn’t around, which I’m grateful for. I lose myself in paperwork and try to push thoughts of Mac out of my mind.
It’s almost lunchtime when Vinn turns up, surprised to see me. “Sunday,” he says, as if I didn’t know what day it was.
“I was at a loose end and thought I’d come in and catch up on all this charity bull,” I say. Since Vinn gave to charity, I’ve been buried in figures and publicity and other charities asking for money.
“You and your lover boy have a fight?” I shake my head and continue to stare at my laptop. “Liar.”
“I’m finishing up here and heading home,” I say.
“Actually, if you’re at a loose end, I could do with you for a business lunch. It’s at the golf club, and they serve a very nice roast dinner,” he says. I want to keep busy, so I nod. It’s not like I have anything else to do.
MAC
Meghan wakes after an hour of me watching her like some creep. She blinks a few times and her brow furrows. “Cain?” she whispers. I shake my head and pain washes over her face. “Mac?”
“Ruby told me you weren’t looking after yourself.”
“Go away,” she whispers, tears filling her eyes.
“She said the twins miss you and you won’t see them.”
“Please,” she cries.
I shake my head. “Get up. You need a shower. When was the last time you fucking showered?” I rip the sheets back, and she screams angrily. She’s wearing one of Cain’s shirts, but it looks dirty, and I wonder if she’s worn this since he died. I grab her wrist and pull her to stand. Her swollen stomach protrudes, and I stare at it. “Shower, now.”
“No!” she yells, trying to pull free.
I keep hold of her, dragging her kicking and screaming to the en-suite bathroom, then I turn on the shower. She’s sobbing so hard, her thin body is shaking. “Get in the shower, Meg, or I’ll put you in it.” She’s still trying to pull free, so I take her by both arms and move her under the warm jet of water, soaking her shirt through. “No,” she cries, staring down at the shirt. “It smells of him.” Each time I release her, she tries to escape, so I step in with her.
“Meg, calm down. If you stop, I can take the shirt off for you.” She stills, and I carefully release her. When I’m sure she isn’t going to run, I take the hem of the shirt and lift it over her head. She stands like a child, her hair sticking to her face and her arms by her sides. I throw the shirt in the sink. “I’m gonna wash you now.” I reach for some shampoo and squirt a good amount into my hand. I don’t think she’s washed it in months. I gently lather her hair, and she closes her eyes, relaxing as I massage it into her head. I take the showerhead from the wall and begin rinsing. My mind wanders to Raven and how we’d wash each other in the shower. I miss her already and it’s only been a few hours.
When we’re done and she’s fully washed, I wrap her in a towel. Cain’s t-shirt is too wet to put back on, so I sit her on the bed. “I’ll be back,” I tell her, but she looks at me blankly.
I go back to my room and change into joggers and a fresh t-shirt. Next, I head up to Cain’s room. He had another bedroom for when Meg had the kids in bed with her. The twins would take hours to settle some nights. The second I open the door and smell his aftershave, I shudder. How is it possible it still smells of him when he’s been gone months? It’s untouched. His bed sheets are still scrunched on his bed, and there are clothes strewn over the chair. I search through and find a used shirt. As I leave, I glance in the mirror and catch a glimpse of my guilt-ridden face. Stuck on the mirror is a photograph of me and Cain, side by side. Fuck, I miss him.
RAVEN
Mac’s been gone a few days, and it’s not getting any easier like the girls promised it would. In fact, it’s getting harder. I can’t sleep, eat, or smile, all things he made possible by just being around. Vinn places a sandwich on my desk. Since he realised Mac’s left, he’s been really good, keeping me busy and bringing me lunch. “Thanks,” I say as brightly as I can.
“You look tired, Corvo.”
“I’m fine.”
“That’s all you say when I point out truths. But you’re not fine. I can see you’re not fine.”
I sigh. “I’ll be fine, in time.”
“You want me to have him killed?” he offers.
I smile. “No, I don’t want him killed. People survive worse things than a little heartbreak.”
“Doesn’t make it hurt any less, though,” he says, taking a seat at my desk. “Look, why don’t you reconsider this evening. I know you don’t feel in the mood for a party, but you’ll be missed, and Leia really wants you to go.” It’s Gia’s birthday, and Vinn’s arranged a lavish party at his club. He’s gone all out and everyone from the club is going, but the thought of having to smile and make idle conversation all evening makes me feel ill. Since Mac left, all I do is work and sleep. Netflix has become my new best friend. “I could do with you there to keep everything organised, even if you just come for the first hour or so.”
“We’ll see,” I say, knowing full well I won’t show.
* * *
