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He’s your brother, Mari.
“We’ll be back in a couple of days. The two of you behave.” Grayson winks at me before pulling me into a hug. “Sorry we’re leaving him to babysit you, but he needs to continue your training.”
“I understand.” I really don’t. Grayson took down a werewolf, so he’s capable of training me. Why does it have to be Bastian, a person who thinks I’m about as worthless as a slithering slug?
And as quickly as I lay a dish on the counter, they leave, and we’re alone.
Bastian settles into the armchair by the fire, puts on his glasses, and picks up the book I was reading a few days ago. That he’s more than his muscles and warrior mindset draws me to him.
He’s your brother, Mari… with no blood relation.
There goes my heart, trying to justify the thoughts I should never have.
As a family, we are alike in our fierce protection of our brothers and sisters because we only have each other.
I rinse off a dish and place it on the counter to dry before wiping my hands on a towel. My heart races, threatening to break through my chest. He’s given me no sign that he wants more from me than a sibling relationship. But he must feel it.
With slow steps, so as not to disturb his reading, I round the armchair and sit on the ottoman beside his feet. He doesn’t look up, totally engrossed in his book.
It feels like hours pass before I finally work up the courage to place a gentle hand on his ankle. “Bastian?”
He looks up at me, one eyebrow raising slightly, then at my hand on his ankle. Without responding, he reaches into his pocket and removes the glowing blue anklet he hid while he was away. “I don’t want soldiers sniffing around here.” He tosses me the ring. “Put this on. You’ll go to work tonight.”
My heart plummets. I thought we’d have alone time. Time to work out the confusing feelings I have for this man. “Don’t you want company when the others are away?”
He lifts his shoulder as the corner of his lip rises into a slight smirk. “I like my alone time. And if I get lonely, I can ask Susan to spend the night.” But the glimmer in his eyes tells me something different, like he’s begging me to stand up to him—to push past the wall between us.
But I can’t.
I’m not strong enough yet. Too many years under Avren’s rules regarding relationships have left their mark on me. In my brokenness, I can’t make the first move, no matter how hard it was for me to touch his ankle without permission.
My throat is so dry, it feels as if it’s stuffed with cotton balls as I work up the courage to ask my next question. “What happened with Lyden?”
He shifts in the armchair and frowns, keeping his gaze on his book as he traces the embossed title with his finger. “I let him down.” There’s an unfamiliar crack in his voice, one I’m sure he keeps hidden from most. “I let Mav and Carl down.”
His vulnerability makes my palms sweat in my lap. There’s so much I want to say to him: You could never let them down… I’m sure you tried your best… You’re the commander. But the words stay trapped behind my lips. They’re trivial to him.
“I told the others not to follow me into their stronghold. To protect them.” Red rims his eyes as he holds back his dark hair, fingers buried in his long bangs. “In my fucking vanity, I thought I could go it alone.” His chest heaves, and I can tell he’s fighting back the tears. “It was me and Lyden alone in the cave, and I should’ve known it was a trap. The second they swarmed, he screamed out for me, but there was nothing I could do as I fought the bastards off with my sword.”
“What happened to him?” I’ve inched closer, my knees now touching the chair.
“When I finally broke free, there was nothing left.” His sobs finally come as he reaches out and pulls me into his arms.
I stiffen, unsure what to do in the embrace of a man who lives his life to confuse me. But he doesn’t let go, so I slip my arms around his back and rest my head on his chest. The heaves come at regular intervals. He needs the comfort of someone in his arms, and my infatuated heart will play that role despite the damage it might bring.
His chin rests on top of my head. Fingers trail along my back. I know he’s thinking. But I’m not sure if he’s reliving the experience or trying to determine how much he wants to divulge. From the awkward embrace, it’s obvious he doesn’t spill his heart out very often.
“What if they see me as weak?” His words hang between us, spoken so softly, I don’t know if I hear him correctly.
I lift my head to look at him. There’s an unfamiliar vulnerability in his expression. His eyes search mine, and they don’t hold the confident steel of the commander. They’re softer, seeking advice from an equal.
“No one in this entire world sees you as weak, especially me.” Heat rushes to my cheeks, so I quickly add, “You’re Commander Bastian Hale.”
With a brush of his hand, his fingers linger along my neckline as he raises the silver locket Levi gave me in his palm. “Filled it with yarrow, didn’t he?”
“Yes.” A smile crosses my lips, thinking about Levi’s return.
Bastian holds the locket between his thumb and forefinger. “Probably told you it would protect you from the fairies in Mafekadi. Lot of good that did you. From now on, I’ll be your fae repellant, and your vampire repellant, and your werewolf repellant.”
