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Hayes appeared with a cocktail. “Bobbi-June’s midnight snack and breakfast are chilling in the fridge, so you can have this delicious cocktail and many more without worrying,” he said, kissing my temple and handing me the glass.
Rocco started appearing with dishes, big bowls of pasta and risotto, a whole baked fish, and bread hot from the oven. He piled it onto the table, where the scent of cream and garlic and butter perfumed the air, creating a feeling of warmth and family that I hadn’t had since… well, as long as I could remember.
“Rocco, this is… Wow,” I breathed. Music came over the sound system, with Bing Crosby crooning “White Christmas.” Jesse appeared with a grin, and Hayes handed both him and Rocco a cocktail.
Rocco made a sitting gesture, and we all did as we were told. He raised his glass. “To our first Christmas as a family.” I swallowed down the lump in my throat as I raised my own. Rocco grinned. “Now eat. I didn’t harass my nonna in the middle of the night for family recipes for you to let it go cold.”
We ate and chatted, about the team and the upcoming race season, about Jesse’s search for bike parts, about the house sale, about the baby. But we didn’t mention the court case. The tabloids. Nothing even a little negative was brought up, and by the time we made it to dessert—this time in the form of a panettone and homemade tiramisu—I was so stuffed, I couldn’t breathe. I was feeling pleasantly buzzed, my stomach was a little bloated, and I wanted to nap off my meal.
Stretching, I helped the guys move the leftover food to the fridge and stack the dishwasher. Hayes grabbed me in the kitchen, dancing with me slowly to the sound of the Rat Pack. Random selector had taken the wheel on the music streaming service, so we had everyone from Frank Sinatra to My Chemical Romance.
Hayes rocked me from side to side. “God, you’re so fucking beautiful tonight,” he breathed, also a little bit buzzed from the food and the wine and the good vibes. “I want to spend every Christmas Eve, New Years, and National Spaghetti Day with you.”
I laughed, kissing him softly. “You say the most romantic things, Hayes Davis.”
I was twirled away by Jesse, who also danced with me, his taller height meaning he had to stoop down even further to kiss me. “Merry Christmas Eve, sweetheart.” I wrapped my arms around his neck and let him sway me from side to side for several songs.
A hand touched my elbow. “May I cut in?” Rocco asked quietly, but it felt like he was asking much more. Jesse gave me a small smile, his eyes telling me it was my choice. I looked at Hayes, who gave his own curt nod.
It was just a dance. Just a dance—they weren’t agreeing to anything else.
“Of course,” I murmured in Rocco’s direction, holding out my hand. He wrapped his fingers around mine and drew me close. Not so close that it could be construed as anything but polite, but his thumb stroked the curve of my hip.
Tucking our clasped hands between our chests, he swayed me to the music, one song turning into another as we danced silently. “Thank you for celebrating La Vigilia with me. It has been a long time since I’ve had enough family around to warrant the effort.”
“Thank you. It’s been really special.” It was an understatement, but I couldn’t put into words how much it had also meant to me.
“I think she should kiss him for his hard work,” Jesse said, and I whipped my head to the side and looked at him and Hayes, leaning against the kitchen counter, beers in hand like they were participants in our dance too.
Hayes shocked the shit out of me by nodding. “I think so too, and it might reduce the sexual tension in this house to something slightly more bearable,” he teased, but there was something smoldering in his eyes.
I looked back up at Rocco, who was frowning at the guys. Hell, even I was frowning at the guys. My heart was racing now. Could they really mean it?
Rocco looked back down at me. “She is not a gift you can just give away,” he said softly.
Hayes didn’t look at him, his eyes fixed on me. “No, you’re right. She’s a miracle that I’m thankful for every day. She’s a ray of sunshine, and I’m not going to hoard her away if she wants to spread some of that light onto you too. She has enough warmth for all of us.” He reached out and cupped my cheek. “If that’s what she wants.”
Jesse snorted. “The way she eye-fucks you whenever you walk into the room suggests she does indeed want that.” He leaned forward to kiss me. “Take what you want, sweetheart. As long as I can watch,” he purred, then bit my bottom lip softly. He stepped back, and it was just me and Rocco, standing chest to chest, the intense look in his eyes making my cheeks and my whole body heat.
“I…” I ran out of words. “It would mean something. To me. I want to, but it wouldn’t be meaningless.” Way to say the same thing twice, Tally. “Just so you know.”
His hand came up to grip my chin. “It would mean something to me too.” He leaned in and kissed me with so much fervor, it made me breathless. His lips pressed and conquered, like he was trying to steal the oxygen from my lungs. I threaded my fingers through his hair, like it was the only thing anchoring me to the earth.
Finally, he pulled back, heaving in oxygen. “Let’s take this to the living room?” He looked between me and the guys. “And maybe some audience participation?” he teased, his lips brushing over mine again. “Would you like that, Stellina? My shining star. Would you like to be the center of our universe for the night?”
“Yes!” I shouted it, making Hayes laugh.
Fuck me. Christmas miracles really did exist.
THIRTY-EIGHT
ROCCO
I couldn’t believe this was happening. I’d hoped, of course, but had meant what I said all the way back in the diner—unless she explicitly asked me for more, I was happy keeping it platonic.
Well, happy mightn’t be the right word. Resigned. Suffering from a wild case of blue balls. But content to be part of this thing we had, even if it wasn’t everything I desired.
But this moment right here? This was beyond my wildest dreams.
