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A reminder that we made the time for each other. We always had. We always would. The words resonated with me and had every single day. I still missed them while touring, but I would hold the necklace like I had my rings or my charm bracelet. Their love made tangible.
Another reason I was glad to be home. I would absolutely be making time for him. For all of them. My gaze tracked to where Archie slept. His expression was downright peaceful. It almost seemed like he was smiling in his sleep.
Good dreams, I hoped.
As tempting as it was to wake them, I slipped out quietly and closed the door behind me. The sitting room was also dark, save for a single small lamp by the main door. The doors to the other bedrooms were open. They weren’t sleeping elsewhere.
We all did it. Just sometimes we were tired or restless. Sometimes we needed a little privacy. I loved that everyone was comfortable enough to not be insulted when one of us needed it.
I’d snagged my robe from the bathroom and I pulled it on. I also had on the slippers for the colder floors out in the main house. Pregnancy always made me seem to run hotter, but?—
A flutter of movement had me pausing. Then another. Oh good, time for morning calisthenics. “Thank you for almost sleeping in for Mommy,” I murmured to my belly. It was just before four in the morning, so it wasn’t sleeping in by that much.
I let myself out of our room and then down the hall. I checked on Izzy, she was sound asleep with one arm thrown up and her blankets kicked off. I tugged the sheet back over her and a lighter blanket so she wouldn’t get cold. Her Christmas stocking lay on the foot of her bed just waiting for her to discover it.
Josh was next. He had two of his toys in the bed with him. Toys he hadn’t had when we put him to bed. I moved one to the nightstand and left the other tucked in next to him. His stocking was still on the foot of his bed as well. He might have been trying to stay up to catch Santa. No luck though.
Charlie, predictably, wasn’t in his room. Off I went in search of them. I found him downstairs in the movie room sound asleep against Jake’s chest with a blanket over them. The fire was low, but it burned merrily, so I pulled the pocket doors closed to let them sleep.
I padded through the darkened rooms. Jeremy wasn’t up yet, or if he was, he hadn’t left his suite. Izzy and Josh would be awake within the next couple of hours.
Their stockings would keep them busy for a short bit, but then it would be time to rush downstairs for breakfast then presents. Speaking of presents… I nudged open the door to the big living room.
Ian glanced up from where he was setting another present under the tree. His smile was as warm as a hug. “Merry Christmas, Angel. Don’t tell me the kids are already up.”
“They aren’t,” I said, letting myself in and closing the door. There was a fire going in here too, along with some Christmas music playing softly. “I thought Santa and his helpers were already done.”
They’d sent me to bed and promised to take care of all of it, though I had done a fair bit of wrapping myself. My personal elf took care to place those presents and since I’d already seen them, I had no questions about Jeremy taking care of the requests.
“They were done.” He set the box down toward the back before coming toward me. “I wanted to add a couple more presents that I’d forgotten to wrap.”
I wrapped my arms around his neck and he dropped a light, sweet kiss on my lips. He couldn’t pull me quite flush to him. The bump was in the way, but before I could say anything, they tumbled around in there. The fluttering increased.
Dropping his chin, he glanced down. “Ahh, it was these kids who woke you up then.”
I chuckled. “Maybe, I definitely had to pee and then…”
“You wanted to come down and savor Christmas before the chaos?” He knew me well. One of my favorite things to do was make love to one or all of them under the tree or in front of the fire.
“Getting harder each year,” I admitted. He shifted us so I was leaning back against him. It gave me a wonderful view of the fire crackling, and the beautiful trees framing the fireplace. They were comically loaded with presents. Some wrapped, and others not.
The not wrapped ones were from Santa—a decision I had never regretted when I realized just how much all of us would spoil the kids. Not to mention the grandparents. Our babies wanted for nothing, materially or emotionally.
A long sigh escaped me and Ian rubbed his cheek against mine. Now that we were home again, he wasn’t shaving. Like Jake, he almost had a full beard. The softness had me closing my eyes as I let him soothe me.
He didn’t ask. Maybe he didn’t have to or maybe he just let me decide if I wanted or needed to tell him more. Ian could just be there for me and let me lean on him. They all shared that strength with me, without question or hesitation.
“I keep thinking about Ted,” I admitted softly. “And my grandparents. It’s weird…”
“Why is it weird?” While he waited for my answer, he tugged me back to the sofa and I eased down to sit next to him.
“It’s—I miss them. I mean, I always miss them.” That wasn’t a tough admission. “This morning, it’s like… I wish Ted was here to meet his great-grandchildren. I wish my grandparents had gotten to meet Josh and Charlie.” A long sigh escaped me. “I know this is pregnancy hormones and then…”
The words were failing me. Ian didn’t say a word, just stroked his fingers through my hair. He took his time detangling. The repetitive motion soothed me.
“Why do I miss Maddy?” I asked finally and Ian wrapped his arms around me. By the time she died, she’d done so much damage. If she’d had her way, I wouldn’t have Archie. I wouldn’t have anything.
My grandparents never really recovered from her loss. Eddie still grieved her. I didn’t want to grieve her too.
